If that machine can do what you say it can do, destroy it, George! Destroy it before it destroys you!
Destroy it! Go on! Now! Throw it in the fire! What are you waiting for? Just let it go!
It’s a living thing, Brian. It breathes, it eats, and it hates. The only way to beat it is to think like it. To know that this flame will spread this way across the door and up across the ceiling, not because of the physics of flammable liquids, but because it wants to. Some guys on this job, the fire owns them, makes 'em fight it on it’s level – but the only way to truly kill it is to love it a little.
Great balls of fire. Don’t bother me anymore, and don’t call me sugar.
That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.
You silly twisted boy.
I’ve heard that you’re a low-down Yankee liar.
Oh hell, that seems normal to me.
Why Kate, you’re not wearing a bustle. How lewd.
Asses are made to bear, and so are you!
Ol’ Dilbert Dumb Butt, he went down to Mexico, and he’s walkin’ around there in the plaza just havin’ a taco, you know, and gettin’ the runs and everything, you know. And he had to get back to the navy station, and didn’t know what time it was. He sees this old Mexican type fellow leaning against a wall havin’ a siesta. And he says: “Hey, Poncho! Can y’all tell a fellow what time it is?”
And the guy looks up at him like that and he reaches back – his sombrero had little dingle balls all over it – and there’s this donkey standin’ next to him. He reaches out like that and he grabs the donkey right by the balls, ya know. Big old wet donkey balls. And he lifts them up like that, and he says: “Oh senor, it’s… mmm, 2:30.”
“Goddamn!” Dilbert says, “Holy sheep shit! How in the hell can you tell time by grabbin’ a donkey’s balls, man?”
And he says: “Ah, simple, senor. First you take the balls of that burro, and you lift 'em up – and you see that clock over there?”
How do I know you’re not bullshitting me again?
I’m kicking my ass! Do you mind?
You know, you’re much too tense. You’re a young man. You need to relax, learn to take some joy in your work. Do you like music?
What tempo, Captain?
Ah, well… I attended Juilliard, I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen The Exorcist about a hundred and sixty-seven times and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it, not to mention the fact that you’re talking to a dead guy… now, what do you think? You think I’m qualified?
Oh, we can’t hire you. We just want to take your picture.
We’re eating oranges and we’re making IDs.
This is the worst fake ID I’ve ever seen. Do you realize you made yourself 68?
We all end up in diapers.