I don’t suppose I could convince you to come up here and fight like a spider.
All right, shithead. I haven’t been in a fight since I was in 5th grade, but I beat the shit out of that kid, so now I’m going to beat the shit out of you.
It’s catching isn’t it, violence.
You know I’m not a violent person. But I would like to hold them down and skate over their throats.
It’s the skating isn’t it? It’s that insane disco music thing!
The 70s are dead and gone. The 80s are going to be something wonderfully new and different, and so am I. The 70s are dead and gone. The 80s are going to be something wonderfully new and different, and so am I.
In short, there’s simply not
A more congenial spot
For happily-ever-aftering than here
In Camelot.
Comicus: Have you heard of this new sect, the Christians? They are a laugh riot! First of all, they are so poor…
Swiftus: How poor are they?
Comicus: Thank you! They are so poor… that they only have one God!
Is - is this a joke?
Why … so … serious?
I heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Life seems harsh, and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. Doctor says: “Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up.” Man bursts into tears. “But doctor…” he says “I am Pagliacci.” Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
Well, you know, they say we all gonna be dyin’ some day. I believe it, too.
This is the life we chose, the life we lead. And there is only one guarantee: none of us will see heaven.
We reached the Mediterranean. I wanted those waters to be blue, but they were black. Night-time waters. And how I suffered then, straining to recall the color that in my youth I took for granted. We searched village after village, ruin after ruin, country after country. And always we found nothing. I began to believe we were the only ones. There was a strange comfort in that thought. For what could the damned really have to say to the damned?
Unusual weather we’re having, ain’t it?
He may have had the weather gauge, but we had the weather gods.
So many women, and all these transformations and disguises he invents in order to seduce them. Sometimes a shower of gold, sometimes a bull or a swan. Why, once he even tried to ravish me disguised as a cuttlefish.
He turned me into a newt!
Looking good, Billy Ray!
I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.