What about their legs? They don’t need them.
Yeah, I was in the show. I was in the show for 21 days once - the 21 greatest days of my life. You know, you never handle your luggage in the show, somebody else carries your bags. It was great. You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Oh fuck a donkey it hurts so much! I’m gonna die! I’m gonna fuckin’ die! Fuckin’ spider bit me on my balls, David! On my balls, on my balls, on my fuckin’ balls!
That’ll do, Donkey. That’ll do.
Brighty the burro has long since left this earth, but some animals, like some men, leave a trail of glory behind them.
If you have any poo, fling it now.
Rigggght. Me Dinger, you Bobby. Me look cool; you look like shit, pal. It’s okay, though. It’s okay. We’ll make it a fashion statement.
I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.
Look at my hands. I’ve been here before, so do what you gotta do. I didn’t talk then, and I won’t talk now.
“Vicki Morgan was Alfred Bloomingdale’s mistress. Alfred introduced her to all Reagan’s cabinet buddies. She was a real party girl and they really liked her, if you know what I mean, Your Honor. So the thing about Vicki is, she was a bit naive, and she started writing a book about all these orgies that they were having. The next thing you know… Bam! She’s murdered. But what these White House killers don’t realize is, Vicki kept some videotapes of their sexcapades. These tapes, Your Honor, are pure carnality. Filthy. I’ve never seen anything…well, I have, but most people haven’t seen anything like this, Your Honor --”
“What has this got to do with the DeLorean trial?”
“Well, technically nothing, Your Honor. But I had those tapes and this tape, and it just made me think of it.”
Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Doc. Ah… Are you telling me that you built a time machine… out of a DeLorean?
Wanted: Somebody to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 91 Ocean View, WA 99393. You’ll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
Wanted: Dead or Alive.
Sometimes … dead is better.
Now, you’ve got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.
You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.
I mean any fool can have courage. But honor, that’s the real reason you do something or you don’t. Its’ who you are and maybe who you want to be.
Who are you?! Tell me the truth.
You know what I am? I’m your worst fuckin’ nightmare, man. I’m a nigger with a badge, which means I got permission to kick your fuckin’ ass whenever I feel like it!
Well, hot patootie and bless-a my soul!