I’m surrounded by amateurs.
I’m surrounded by assassins!
Let’s do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you’ve managed to piss off every single one of them.
Disappointed!
Eh, too late to edit, best when read in Otto voice, ALL CAPS
“Sorry, sir. This will never happen again.”
“I know.”
BOOM!
Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh… everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now, thank you. How are you?
I really don’t care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn’t fucking there. And I really didn’t care to fucking walk down a fucking highway, and across a fucking runway, to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays.
Let me tell you something, Happy. To you, Odie might be just a dumb, stupid, smelly dog. But to me, he’s all that and much more.
I don’t eat dog either.
Chicken isn’t vegan?
If you were to meet these Vegans, and were permitted only one question to ask of them, what would it be?
How do you make such delicious soup?
Chilled monkey brains.
Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I’m in a god-damn hurry.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit.
There was only one tiresome detail: Jones. He just wouldn’t let go of that corner office.
And of course his eagerness to leave his mother’s womb was the very reason he the one who was selected.