By Grabthar’s hammer, what a savings!
Low overhead! And we pass the saving on to you!
Hi! This is Max-Max Headroom on Network 23, brought-brought-brought to you by…
All human beings are becoming humanoids. All over the world, not just in America. We’re just getting there faster since we’re the most advanced country.
I weep for the species.
Hey, hey! I-I’m the Lorax! Guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees.
You said it yourself, bitch. We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy.
I am Groot!
I’m a time-study man.
“Fuck you.” That’s my name. You know why, mister? You drove a Hyundai to get here. I drove an eighty-thousand dollar BMW. THAT’S my name. And your name is you’re wanting. You can’t play in the man’s game, you can’t close them - go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: Get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you fucking faggots? A-B-C. A: Always; B: Be; C: Closing. Always Be Closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING.
Look at me. What I’m thinking is, ‘You’re mine. I fuckin’ own you.’ But what I’m not doing is feeling anything about it one way or the other. You understand? You’re not a person to me, you’re a name in my collection book, a guy owes me money, that’s all.
Here’s looking at you kid.
You lookin’ at me?
You go, girl!
Ya know they got over a hundred girls here. So some of yous are going home.
There must be a hundred of them!
I once tried to count them all. I, actually, made it to 4,348.
You know, there are four hundred billion stars out there, just in our galaxy alone. If only one out of a million of those had planets, and just one of out of a million of those had life, and just one out of a million of those had intelligent life; there would be literally millions of civilizations out there.
On this eve before she is torn from all she knows, kidnapped, hurled into deep space against her will, what thoughts fill the mind of the young space captive?
I’m gonna need more coffee.