10 Million, 10 Million, 10 Million Dollars
You’ll never know.
I would, if you’d just tell me!
Do you expect me to talk??
Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.
I coulda been a contender.
Why oh why didn’t I take the blue pill?
No! No! No! No! No! Not the wed one! Don’t ever push the wed one!
Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?
You know, I just remembered I left this purse on the bus last night.
You dropped your purse, ma’am. Would you like me to help you with your groceries?
Thank you, yeah. I got it this far, I just can’t get it up in the truck by myself. Here. Grab this. Just set it down. That’s good. Get in the truck, I wanna push it all the way up. I really appreciate this. Thank you, thank you. Push it all the way back. Yeah, that’s great. Say…are you about a size fourteen?
Lt. Lake… you’re… almost out of uniform. Now, either you have miscalculated your dress size, or there has been some foul play!
Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do somethin’ like this – and totally redeem yourself! Ha, Ha!
Because you make my effort a joke!
For as long as anyone could remember, this Indian chief was in charge of naming all the children that were born in the tribe. One day, this brave comes up to him and says, “Chief, can I ask you something? How do you name these children? How do you think of their names?” And the chief says, “It’s very simple. When a child is born, and I see snow gently falling, I say, ‘You shall be called Snow Gently Falling.’ And when a child is born and I see a hawk flying over, I say, ‘You shall be called Hawk Flying Over.’ But tell me, Two Dogs Fucking, why are you so interested?”
Mmmmmm, Juicy Fruit.
Caffeine’ll KILL YA!!
Shut up, you American. You Americans, all you do is talk, and talk, and say “let me tell you something” and “I just wanna say.” Well, you’re dead now, so shut up.
George M. Cohan has invented the success story. And every American loves it because it happens to be his own private dream.