You know what I think? I think you should go back home to Greenbow, Ala-BAMA!
As commanding officer of the U.S.S Alabama I order you to place the XO under arrest under charges of mutiny.
Captain, as your exec it’s my duty to point out alternatives.
Now remember: don’t extend any lines of credit, don’t touch the dabo girls, and make sure you keep your eyes on him.
It’s my kid brother, Larry, your uncle. Don’t give him any money.
I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
You know what a Rainmaker is, kid? The bucks are gonna be falling from the sky.
Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.
Help! Don’t eat me!
Man, I got these cheeseburgers. They some double cheeseburgers.
Hey, you. Come here. I see mayonnaise. Did anybody in this hear me say the word “Mayonnaise”? Read your notes. What does it say? “Cheeseburger, well done. Raw onion, ketchup, pickle”. You call that well done? In addition to the mayonnaise, I see lettuce… Lettuce that somebody tried to scrape off here. This is a disaster. What the hell do they teach you at the Academy anyway? You wanna be a detective when you grow up?
You make it sound so vulgar, David, as if the son of hot dog dynasty were being offered in marriage to the daughter of the mustard king.
Are you the Keymaster?
Yes sir, boss. Rack 'em up for Mr. Fast Eddie!
Me and Fat Sam, we’re like this.
You know, it says here that by the time the average American is fifty, he’s got five pounds of undigested red meat in his bowels.
When people believed the earth was flat, the idea of a round world scared them silly. Then they found out how the round world works. It’s the same with the world of the supernatural. Until we know how it works, we’ll continue to carry around this unnecessary burden of fear.
A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
All right, I’m going to level with you all. But what’s most important now is that you remain calm. There is no reason to panic. Now, it is true that one of the crew members is ill… slightly ill. But the other two pilots, they’re just fine. They’re at the controls flying the plane, free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment.
Well, I’ll tell you son… Due to a Cetcil wind, Dystor’s vectored us into a 360-tarson of slow air traffic. Now we’ll maintain this Borden hold until we get the Forta Magnus clearance from Melnics.