You shouldn’t forget the importance of entertainment.
The world is a stage; the stage is a world of entertainment!
We’re actors! We’re the opposite of people!
An actor. Another Goddamn actor. “I happen to have a lawyer aquaitance?” Right out of A Streetcar Named Desire. Stanley Kowalski in summer stock, right?
You sound very superior. What have you ever done in the theater?
The things you gotta remember are the details. The details sell your story. This particular story takes place in a men’s room. You gotta know all the details – whether they got paper towels or a blower to dry your hands. You gotta know if the stalls ain’t got no doors or not. You gotta know if they got liquid soap or that pink, granulated shit they used in high school. You gotta know if they got hot water or not, if it stinks, if some nasty, lowlife, scum-ridden motherfucker sprayed diarrhea all over one of the bowls. You gotta know every detail there is to know about this commode. What you gotta do is take all them details and make 'em your own. While you’re doing that, remember that this story is about you, and how you perceived the events that went down.
It’s a beautiful day. Forget about the Times… everyone else has. Come on. Stand up! So you’re not a great actor. Who cares? You’re much more than that. You tower over these other theater douchebags. You’re a movie star, man! You’re a global force! Don’t you get it? You spent your life building a bank account and a reputation… and you blew 'em both. Good for you. Fuck it. We’ll make a comeback. They’re waiting for something huge. Well, give it to them. Shave off that pathetic goatee. Get some surgery! Sixty’s the new thirty, motherfucker. You’re the original. You paved the way for these other clowns. Give the people what they want… old-fashioned apocalyptic porn. Birdman: The Phoenix Rises. Pimple-faced gamers creaming in their pants. A billion worldwide, guaranteed. You are larger than life, man. You save people from their boring, miserable lives. You make them jump, laugh, shit their pants. All you have to do is…
Stop that train!
How the hell can you run a goddamn railroad without swearing?
Fuck you, Fuckball!
And you kiss your mother with that mouth.
You are physically repulsive, intellectually retarded, you’re morally reprehensible, vulgar, insensitive, selfish, stupid, you have no taste, a lousy sense of humor and you smell. You’re not even interesting enough to make me sick.
Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck and fuck! Fuck, fuck and bugger! Bugger, bugger, buggerty buggerty buggerty, fuck, fuck, arse! Balls, balls, fuckity, shit, shit, fuck and willy. Willy, shit and fuck and… tits.
I guess she don’t like the cornbread, either.
(Last time, I swear)
I didn’t eat the salmon mousse…
Chef’s making his specialty: stuffed crab!
I was going to make espresso!
You just bought another load of crap from the world’s fattest fertilizer sales man!
That is one big pile of shit.
Language!