Jack, I am not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn’t stop crying so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV. I went to answer the phone, I was gone for a second, I came back, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That’s it.
I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.
I don’t know about you, but I intend to write a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all of this.
Write everything down.
I know it’s the only copy. When you wrote your first book, you didn’t make a copy because you didn’t think anybody would take it seriously. Now you never make copies because you’re superstitious. It’s why you always come back to Silver Creek. You told that story to Merv Griffin years ago.
I’ve always just loved to kill. I really enjoyed it. But then I got famous, and - it’s just too hard for me. And so many witnesses. I mean, everybody recognized me. I couldn’t even lurk anymore. I’d hear, “Who’s that lurking over there? Isn’t that Merv Griffin?” So I came to Europe to kill. And it’s really worked out very well for me.
But I’ve always been lucky when it comes to killin’ folks.
No! No, that’s the button that will kill everyone! Try again.
Now. Button, button, who’s got the button?
Push the button, Max!
Sir, we are at launch, turn your key!
And the Lord spake, saying, ‘First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.’
Believe it or not, but under fire, Animal Mother can be a wonderful human being. All he needs is somebody throwing hand grenades at him for the rest of his life.
A-ni-mal! A-ni-mal!! ANIMAL!!!
It’s a good dream! And it’s got cool animals in it and some pretty great people, too!
“I just had a terrible thought: what if this is a dream?”
“Well, then, kiss me quick before you wake up.”
You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling. [Pulls out a grenade launcher]
Somewhere along the line we stopped believing we could do anything. And if we don’t have our dreams, we have nothing.
You must have a dream. If you don’t have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true?
I’m sorry, did I disturb your selective napping?