Whoa ho ho! You kiss your mother with that mouth?
– Mommy…Mommy!..
– (frightened) Mommy’s here…
– Baby wants to fuck
First, we’ll have an orgy. Then we’ll go see Tony Bennett.
Where you going…? Where’s everybody going…?
Remain calm! All is well!
Now there’s nothing to be nervous about. I’ve flown thousands of miles and I can tell you it’s a lot safer than crossing the street!
Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash.
If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.
I get no kicks in a plane.
Flying up high with some guy in the sky
Is my i-dea of nothing to do,
But I get a kick out of you.
– Well, what d’ya do? I mean, do you just ride around or do you go on some sort of a picnic or something?
– A picnic? Man, you are too square. I’m… I… I’ll have to straighten you out. Now, listen, you don’t go any one special place. That’s cornball style. You just go.
I don’t get you, Carl. You live in a good place, your dad’s got a good job with the Caddies. You’re getting to be more of a punk every day, you know that? Lemme ask you somethin’. You got a drive and need to louse things up for yourself?
Driiive, Louise! Drive! Drive the car! Come on. Go! Go! Go go go go go!
“What’s a beautiful girl like you doing at a racetrack like this?”
“Winning.”
Tony: Hey, boss! C’mere! Sun-Up is the worst horse on the track!
Dr. Hackenbush: I notice he wins all the time.
Tony: Aw, just because he comes in first.
Dr. Hackenbush: Well, I don’t want 'em any better than first.
Gonzo: [jumps in front of a taxi] “Taxiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”
Beauregard: slams on the brakes “Did you want me to stop, or what?”
Kermit: “That’s very effective.”
Gonzo: “Yeah, it’s GREAT when it works!”
All the animals come out at night - whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. I go all over. I take people to the Bronx, Brooklyn, I take 'em to Harlem. I don’t care. Don’t make no difference to me. It does to some. Some won’t even take spooks. Don’t make no difference to me.
“Well, yeah. Don’t you wanna get rid of 'em?”
“Oh, in the worst way.”
I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
[woo-hoo! Got to use it]
The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll whisper “no.”
I’ve been brushing up on my Spanish of late, and I think he is saying something about, you know, his being Catholic, and it’s a sin.