If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!
All right, we’re not doing this, gentlemen. We are NOT doing this. We’re not going to go bouncing off the walls for ten minutes, 'cause we’re just going to end up back here with the same problems! Try to figure out how to stay alive!
It is my job to keep you boys alive. I will not succeed.
Hey! Don’t you go telling my boys none of your sleazy sex stories.
Wolfgang! Es ist wirklich nicht mehr komisch!
He’s a Nazi, Price is. For all I know his name is Preissinger or Preishoffer. Oh, sure, he lived in Cleveland. But when the war broke out, he came back to the Fatherland like a good little Bundist. He spoke our lingo, so they sent him to spy school and fixed him up with phony dog tags.
Ahh…
Dont give me that bleeding heart crap!
You doin’ that yet? Biting the pillow? You will - it’s a liberal thing. One minute you’re saving the rainforest… the next, you’re chugging cock.
Silent Bob, you’re a rude motherfucker, you know that ? But you’re cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal.
Well, let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.
Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?
Would you like me to seduce you?
(This belongs in the category of Lines Men Hear Only In Movies, Not In Real Life :D)
Come on, Barbara. Put your shoes on. I haven’t been into feet since '82.
He said I looked like his mother. He hates his mother. So, if I look like his mother and you look like his father… this is what our son would look like. Pretty strong argument for birth control.
True. I was their number-one son, and they treated me like number two. But it’s human nature to fear the unusual. Perhaps when I held my Tiffany baby rattle with a shiny flipper instead of five chubby digits… they freaked. But I forgive them.
I’d like to propose a toast, to my son. He is eighteen today. He has just ordered his first drink. Before he drinks it, I’d like to wish him a long life, a wife as fine as his mother, and a son as fine as he’s been. To my son!
L’chaim! To Life!
What kind of beer would you like?
Heineken? Fuck that shit. Pabst Blue Ribbon!
I’d like to say a prayer and drink to world peace.