Oh, it’s me, Dr. Rosenpenis. I’m just here to check out Alan Stanwyk’s file.
It’s all in the report. And it’s neat and tidy - unlike some. You ought to remember you’re still in the Army, boyo.
Look Sergeant, I got three reasons for bein’ in the Army. First, I’m patriotic. Second, I love my country. And third, they nailed me.
So we’re all dogfaces, we’re all very, very different, but there is one thing that we all have in common: we were all stupid enough to enlist in the Army. We’re mutants. There’s something wrong with us, something very, very wrong with us. Something seriously wrong with us - we’re soldiers. But we’re American soldiers! We’ve been kicking ass for 200 years! We’re ten and one! Now we don’t have to worry about whether or not we practiced. We don’t have to worry about whether Captain Stillman wants to have us hung. All we have to do is to be the great American fighting soldier that is inside each one of us. Now do what I do, and say what I say. And make me proud.
In about a half an hour the whole American army’s gonna be comin’ down that road. Why don’t you do yourself a great, big fat favor, huh? And get the hell outta here?
“I think you oughtta get yourself an M-16.”
“Sir, if the time comes I need one, there’ll be plenty lying on the ground.”
Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl’s name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol’ Mary-Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over! You’re married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful. Port, hut!
She didn’t make that shot. I did.
When I was 19, I did a guy in Laos with a rifle shot at a thousand yards in high wind. Maybe eight or even ten guys in the world could have made that shot. It’s the only thing I was ever good at… Well, see you tomorrow.
He shot Liberty Valance,
He shot Liberty Valance,
He was the greatest of them all.
Yeah, well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard - that’s my policy.
Intent? How’d you establish that?
When a naked man is chasing a woman through a dark alley with a butcher knife and a hard on, I figure he isn’t out collecting for the Red Cross.
Trick or treat!
Heeeeeere’s Johnny!
I need a vacation.
Blanche, you aren’t ever gonna sell this house… and you aren’t ever gonna leave it… either.
Stelllllaaa!
Khaaaaaaaaannnnn!!!
Neeeeeeelyyy O’haraaaaaaaa!
Oh, the pain.
Pain don’t hurt.