Short people are mean. I never met a short man that stays nice all the way through. No sir. Mean little backstabbers, all of ‘em. Maybe it’s the air down there. Not enough oxygen or somethin’.
You need many years of therapy. Many, many fuckin’ years of therapy.
Kathy: Who here wants to be an ad-man?
[several hands go up]
Emory Leeson: Who here wants to be a fire engine?
[everyone raises their hands, with several standing and commenting things like “Ooh, I do!” and “Me! Pick me!”]
Life doesn’t always go the way you expect it, but you came here to become a firefighter. If you give up today, think of all the lives you won’t save tomorrow. So what are you going to do?
I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.
One of these days you guys are gonna learn just to drop it.
My students seem to enjoy creepin’ up on me.
Cato! You imbecile, not now Cato!
It’s too late, Red. He’s already dead.
It’s worse than that. He’s dead, Jim!
You’re suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, doctor.
I have doubts of my own, Doctor, about how you’re handling this.
Turn your head and cough
(if Gene Siskel reviews count-re Patch Adams)
General Kenobi, you are a bold one!
Well, honey, I always say, if you’re good and you know it, why waste time beating around the bush, true?
Women ! What can you say ? Who made ‘em ? God must have been a fuckin’ genius. The hair – They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls… and just wanted to go to sleep forever ? Or lips – and when they touched, yours were like… that first swallow of wine… after you just crossed the desert. Tits ! Whoo-ah ! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya… Like secret searchlights. Mmm. And legs – I don’t care if they’re Greek columns… or secondhand Steinways. What’s between 'em, passport to heaven.
How do you tell 'em apart? They all look alike to me.
This is Agent Johnson. No, the other one.
I’ve seen an agent punch through a concrete wall. Men have emptied entire clips at them and hit nothing but air. Yet their strength and their speed are still based in a world that is built on rules. Because of that, they will never be as strong or as fast as you can be.
Now, you listen to me. When you first came to us, we thought people would come and take you away because, when they found out, you know, the things you could do… and that worried us a lot. But then a man gets older, and he starts thinking differently and things get very clear. And one thing I do know, son, and that is you are here for a reason.