Michaela and I got into an argument at the dinner table yesterday, over the issue of Mr. Krabs’s degree of “beyond the pale,” if you will. Specifically, the question is: what type of critter is a Krabby Patty made of? I say it’s crab, she says it’s hamburger.
(We both agree that it isn’t seaweed, as Sebastian the Crab demonstrated that seaweed is unsuitable as a fast-food item on an episode of The Little Mermaid.)
Is there a canonical answer available that anyone can point me to?
“The Krabby Patty is a registered trademark of the Krusty Krab, and can only be discussed, in whole or in part, with its owner, Mr. Krabs. Some conditions reply. Results may vary.”
And don’t even think about asking him, anyway. The highly protected Krabby Patty has a very tough security system, as seen in the episode Imitation Krabs. Mr. Krabs ain’t telling. I asked him, but all he said is “Stay away from me money!”
Now that I think about it, that should be “Some restrictions apply.”
I’m not knowledgable enough in the SBSP canon to hazard a real guess, though I do seem to recall that the recipe is a big secret. I’d just like to point out that if the patties were made of crab, that’d make Mr. Krab something of a cannibal/genocidal maniac.
I don’t suppose it could be hamburger either, logically speaking. Where would he get beef at the bottom of the ocean?
I’ll speculate that it’s fish food flakes tighly compacted into a patty.
Plankton! It’s plankton! And Plankton knows…but he doesn’t care!
<Charlton Plankton> It’s Plankton! Soylent Krabby is PLANKTOOOOON!
Actually, soulmurk, that was the position I was taking. I was trying to point out that it was just a wee bit inconsistent of Mr. Krab to be so frightened of tartar sauce when he was already peddling his brethren and cistern to all and sundry in Bikini Bottom.
Except other crustaceans! Did you EVER see another crab dining at the Krusty Krab? NO! Why? Because Mr Krab is the only crab degenerate enough to set foot into the joint. Or else because he’s already slaughtered them all. Him and his greedy, auto-genocidal ways. I’m astonished that it’s been allowed to go on as long as it has. Something needs to be done. . .
According to this article, crabs (at least blue crabs) are cannibals.
So I see Mr. Krabs having no problem serving crab burgers.
This thread is important in my home as my son has asked on several occasions what a krabby patty was made of.
Thank you. A thousand hossannahs to you!!!
Point taken, but only so far as it being not (exactly) unethical for him to eat them all himself.
But to kill them and serve them up to the locals simply for his own s(h)el(l)fish gain?
That’s Pit-worthy, man.
I only hope it won’t show up some kind of jerk saying “Why do you even care? They’re just fictional characters!!”.
Continue, please.
They once showed a Kabby patty in a ‘real life’ photo (similar to the shots of bob when he’s out of the water).
It looked like a hamburger. Now, it’s not to say that crab isn’t in it, but if it is, he’s doing some pretty kooky stuff to it.
Also, I would think it was more of a fish burger. He does, after all, call it a krabby patty and not a crabby patty. The K indicates that it’s that fake crab stuff. His clientele (mainly fish) would have no problem eatting fish, despite the cannibalism of it.
Now then, the real questions regarding Mr Krabbs are:
what happened to Mrs Krabbs?
and
Is Pearl adopted?
(am I the only one who thinks of Phil Hartman as Plankton?)
I don’t think Phil Hartman is plankton, Phil Hartman passed away before the show began.
um. I know.
What I meant is that Planton is very Phil Hartman-esque.
Phil Hartman would have been an excellent Plankton.
Well, if Krabby Patties aren’t crabs, then they must be some sort of under-sea animal and the logical guess is that some of the customers are cannibals. 
And yes, Pearl has to be adopted. Mr. Krabs is a crab. Pearl is a whale. What I don’t get is that episode where SpongeBob and his friends (including Mr. Krabs) were making fun of Sandy because she was a mammal and couldn’t breathe underwater. Pearl is a mammal too, and I would guess she has to go to the surface.
Either way, am I the only one who thinks Pearl is the more irritating characters of the show?
Here’s the real question: if Patrick is so stupid and has never had a job, how does he afford a house and various articles for a house like a TV?
What if Pearl’s mom, Mrs Krabbs, was a whale? Maybe Pearl is some half crab half whale mutant. I do agree, she is really irritating.
As for Patrick, my guess is that he is a trustfund baby.
Ahhh, but he DOES have a job! You must not have seen the episode where Spongebob and Patrick adopt the lost baby oyster. Spongebob was the mother and Patrick was the father because, as Spongebob pointed out, Patrick didn’t wear a shirt.
Patrick would leave early every morning for work wearing his suit and tie, carrying his briefcase.
Spongebob later found out that Patrick was taking a briefcase full of doughnuts to his house and watching TV all day. That was his job! 
Mr. Krabs will never reveal what’s in a Krabby patty because if he does, the robots might get him.
I’m getting a bad feeling about this. Anyone remember the episode of Fututama where we find out where Slurm comes from?
I’m guessing it’s sea cow. So that’s why they’re endangered.
Damn, now I’m hungry.
well, i don’t know which episode it was in but Tengu is correct in saying that it was Plankton. If you wanted a funny answer this isn’t it, this is a somewhat fact after that show.
The show was where Plankton himself tried to find out the secret recipe and when he does he’s shocked that it was plankton being used as the main ingriedient.
You’re KIDDING.
I never saw the episode, and was just going for the whole Soylent Krabby joke…
Day-um.