Has any one else ever noticed how all men are supposed to be obsessed with sports-- to the point that, if you are not interested in sports, there is something seriously wrong with you? I was talking to an old high school friend recently, and he brought up an incident I had not thought about for a long time. A group of guys were making a list of classmates they thought were gay and my name came up. The main evidence of my alleged homosexuality, mind you, was the fact that I was not at all interested in sports! My buddy told me about the conversation, adding that he attempted to refute the accusation, to no avail. I actually thought it was funny, since I knew some gay guys that did well at sports (and had no stereotypical mannerisms) – I also realized that no amount of reasoning would dissuade such people from their silly theorizing, so I never really attempted to refute them directly! To their minds, any deviation from the “macho sports fiend” personality had to imply homosexuality!
I should go on to state that this happened around 1976 or 1977.
Has any one else had to deal with this attitude: if you are a bookish person with little or no interest in sports, you must be gay?
While I wasn’t accused of being gay, I’ve certainly felt like an outsider my whole life in that regard. Being into the home team and following sports teams almost seems as natural as breathing. I can’t understand how watching other people play games can capture people’s attention and passion so much, but I’m sure they all wonder the opposite about me. Worse still, I find playing most sports boring. A common male bonding activity is going off to shoot some hoops, and I’m not very good at basketball nor do I enjoy playing it. So I either have to sit out or embarass myself playing.
I really wouldn’t worry too much about embarassing yourself by sucking. That’s not at all what other guys will focus on. It’s all about the effort.
Randy Moss (famous WR on the Minnesota Vikings - top 3 in the league at his position) was villified by the common man for his quote that he sometimes takes plays off. That is what is unacceptable.
Every single guy sucked the first few times he tried any activity. Everyone accepts this as the way it is. Guys who suck but continue to try get respect, assuming they are really trying their best. As an added bonus, you can’t suck forever if you really try; eventually you’ll get better.
Even that’s no big deal, though. You’ll never find a perfectly matched pickup game. There will always be the best guy and the worst guy. Nothing wrong with being the worst guy; the best guy is the one who is under pressure to perform.
Regarding watching sports. I don’t understand guys who aren’t into sports. Sports are the original “reality” television. Unscripted and unpredicable. Do you ever wathc the Olympics? Same concept, except you add in the following elements:
- Team dynamics, which is an allegory for human interaction
- Home team, whcih is a bonding mechanism for all people in your area
- Shared experience, running the emotional gamut
If you like American Idol, or any popular television show - reality or scripted - then you know the feeling of community you get when discussing the show with others. Same deal with sports.
Most guys didn’t immediately love any sport. It takes a couple seasons to get a feel for each sport. They all have their own rules, dynamics, strategies, strengths and weaknesses. (Except the NFL, which has no weaknesses. 
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If you just don’t care, then don’t worry about it. Nobody needs to like sports. But if you’re curious, or just feeling insecure or isolated, then give your local NFL team a shot this fall. Watch the opening day game, and ask questions here if you don’t understand what’s going on. Then give it one or two more games. You might find that once you understand the nuances, you might like it.
I recommend the NFL mainly because it is the world’s most perfect sport. But one of the biggest attractions for the casual fan is that it is the most “low maintenance” of sports: 16 games and wait for next year. One game per week. Compare that to the 80 (or 160!) game schedules of other sports and I think you’ll agree that once per week during the fall and winter is about as much sport as anybody needs. 
Didn’t happen to me personally- on the flip side, I’ve had a number of friends who were surprised that a small smart guy played a couple of sports and followed them big time. But I think we’ve probably all seen what you’re talking about happen. It’s called high school.
Just to confuse things, the gayest guy I knew in college was a huge sports fan, and the straight sports fans like me were surprised when he came out.
'couple more counter-stereotypical data points:
-University friend of ours. He’s the poster child for the term metrosexual. Hates sports, absolutely loathes anyhting to do with sport, either watching, participating, exercising, sweating, talking about, everything. His permier form of entertainment is shopping. He’s a high-power IP attorney, and he has the budget to buy suits that cost more than some cars, and can spend 15 minutes talking about the difference between this spring’s Armani collection vs. Zegna’s. He’s definitely on the plump side of husky, and had a huge lebanese honker, a-la opus.
And he is the most “active” hetero guy I know. He is a veritable chick magnet. My adolescent fantasy sex life doesn’t come close to what he has available to him every weekend. He just has this knack, this personality… He dances well, makes women laugh, feel appreciated, and I just don’t know/understand what else.
Am I envious? well less so now that I’m happily married… 
-My good friend and best man at my wedding; thinks watching competitive sports is a waste of time. Works out because his 'doc told him to. Works as a commercial graphic artist, and is heavily into theater. He’s got that thin wiry <sp?> look that borders on the 98 lb weakling image. He keeps getting hit on by gay guys, although he’s as straight as a ruler, married with two daughters.
Me? I’m profoundly ambivalent about sports, can take it and leave it. I just listen to the radio summary the morning after to keep up with the water cooler talk. Mostly I tune in if a team I like is in the playoffs. The sports I enjoy watching most are the less popular ones: winter olympics, some golf, olympic / european hockey. For participating, I enjoy golf & badminton. I just find there are better forms of entertainment & more interseting things to do out there…
Although as a baby our son did enjoy napping on my chest with the sunday NFL game on TV
Heterosexual guy who doesn’t pay much attention to sports checking in here! I would think my lack of interest in watching muscular, fit men engage in strenuous physical activity would be evidence for my heterosexuality. And I know/know of plenty of women sports fans.
I’m just barely enough of a sports fan to check the sports page every day and see how the Cardinals are doing, but that’s about it. I do miss the bonding and social interaction that some from being a sports fan—just not enough to do something about it. (I do wish there were the equivalent of sports bars for people who don’t care about sports!) If I had to “defend” my lack of interest in sports, I’d offer one or more of the following:
Life’s to short to sit around watching other people play games. I’d rather be a participant in life than a spectator.
There are plenty of people out there who take sports too seriously. By not taking them seriously at all, I’m helping to maintain the cosmic balance.
Watching a ball game is only interesting if you can pretend that it matters who wins.
The more time you invest in getting to know the players, the teams, and the subtleties of the game, the more interesting it becomes to watch. I just have other interests that I’d rather spend my time on, rather than to make the big investment of time required to understand and care about a sport to the point that it actually becomes really interesting.
My theory is that most guys who are sports fans are vicariously re-living the days of their youth when they played sports, and/or when they bonded with their dad or grandfather or brother or whoever by watching sports together. But when I was a kid, I sucked at the sports I did try playing, I was physically inept, and that’s nothing I particularly want to re-live.
Just had to comment on this part. I’m reminded of a statement by one of our gay members, somewhere on this message board, that his mother had realized he was gay…because he loved reading!
Without meaning him personally, of course, I said that there were not enough rolleyes in the universe for that one!
I’m a straight, married guy. I haven’t the slightest interest in sports, and I never did. I don’t understand what they’re for. I don’t understand why millions of people want to watch some guys kicking a ball around a field. I’d never put anyone down for it, but I don’t get it. People are always taken aback, when they find out I’m Canadian, that I’ve never witnessed a hockey game. Nobody ever explained any of the rules to me or offered to show me how to play any games. When I was a kid, they beat me up because I didn’t know how to play baseball. Hey, the only sports I ever saw on a television growing up was golf, if that’s a sport, and I don’t get it, either. I didn’t have any friends who were into sports. On the flip side, I have a seemingly insane uncle who yells with violent temper at the TV and throws solid objects at it whenever he’s watching sports. Like he could do it any better than the players he’s insulting. If that ain’t enough to scare ya away from it, I don’t know what is!
One of the worst aspects of my career as a broadcaster is when I was required to read the sports report on the noon news. I didn’t have the first clue what I was talking about, didn’t know any of the names, and didn’t know any of the sports jargon that sports announcers use - and it showed. I didn’t know what kind of sports results I should be reporting on, but I had to fill five minutes with something. I think I covered everything from arm-wrestling to tiddlywinks, whatever was on the wire service. Eventually, they let me stop doing it.
I feel you’re missing the point. I suck at a lot of things, but I continued to try over and over at those very same things and got good. But these were things that interested me. Having no interest in sports whatsoever, why would I bother continuing to try in that area? Boredom city. It’s the lack of interest in sports that people find odd, not one’s abilities. To me, learning Dvorak is a hell of a lot more worthy of respect than, say, improving my ability to put some ball through some hole somewhere. How could a real, practical improvement be seen as questionable, and playing a game somehow superior?
Another straight, married man. I’ve never had any interest in watching sports. As a U of Maryland grad, I try to watch the basketball games, but I’ll usually find myself flipping channels within minutes. I’m do enjoy going to the games, but I’m mostly there for the social aspects of hanging out with friends/family, interacting with other “fans” and general people watching. “Mark, did you see what just happened?” “Um, No, I was looking at that rather hot blond sitting over there”
Playing sports is a whole other story. I’m not really good at anything other then Tennis, but I do enjoying getting on the court/field and embarrassing myself.
To answer the OP’s question, I think my father thought I might be gay when I was a teen. I didn’t date much (shy), didn’t want to watch the games with him or learn the “handy-man” stuff around the house (Although, I now regret never learning his fix-it and tool aquisition skills). At least I can/could ogle women with the best of 'em!
Good point, nothing wrong with that at all. ::coughcough::FAG!::coughcough::
That was intended to be funny; I hope that’s obvious. I just think that the whole thing is pretty ridiculous. When I was growing up, I got the same thing from everybody in school, my uncle, teachers, and friends – they assumed I was gay. Of course, in my case it turns out they were right, but the dumb thing is that they assumed it because I wasn’t into sports. Apparently, my never having a girlfriend and having no interest in girls was less of an indicator.
I guess I assumed it was just a southern thing – the farther away I got from the south, the less I encountered that reaction of surprise and confusion when I confessed to another guy that I wasn’t into sports at all. But now I think it’s more of an environment thing; the place I work now is predominantly other pasty-white geeky guys, and artists, so the guys who are really into sports are the minority.
And for the record, so as not to make any of the guys who’ve already posted uncomfortable – I’ve met a lot of straight guys here who have told me that people always assumed they were gay because they didn’t like sports.
What I don’t get is why “gay” is necessarily the same thing as “effeminate” or “not masculine.” I would think that the title of the thread would be “Sports and Heterosexuality (or lack of it!)” But I guess that’s for another thread.
Sorry, I had to add this… I posted from work and hit send before I was finished.
Yes, people thought I was gay because I wasn’t into sports and never had a girlfriend or drove a car. Instead I played music and drew pictures and was literate. In a town of 2000 people, that’s enough to permanently crush whatever reputation you have. By the time I was 16 I couldn’t take it anymore, and I left school and moved away. I’m sure that if you asked some people who remember me from back then, they’d tell you “him? Of course he’s a fag!” :rolleyes:
Straight Female here.
I have the oppositeproblem. I like sports a lot, especially baseball. While I’m no expert, I can hold my own with most people in a discussion about baseball. I love to watch baseball, and I get kind of sad during the off-season because there’s nothing good on the tube. So, of course, I must be a lesbian. :rolleyes:
It’s been a fairly common assumption for years. It used to bother me a lot, but I’ve gotten used to it. Now it amuses me.
It has it’s positive aspects, too. I dated a guy for a couple of years who, before we got together was asked, “What do you think of Sami?” His answer, “I like any girl who knows how far out of first place her team is.”
“Chicks dig the long ball.” Guys dig chicks you dig the long ball.
~S
I’m 36, 100% heterosexual, and have absolutely no interest in sports. I don’t watch sports on TV. I’ve never read the “sports page.” I can’t match cities with sports teams. I have no idea who plays on what teams. And I’ve only watched about 6 games in person (I went to a few games in college). I’ve never met another person who had less interest in sports than me.
Am I masculine? Definitely. I like deer hunting. I like beer. I even operate a citizen’s militia group. Just don’t ask me about sports…
That should be:
Guys dig chicks who dig the long-ball. :smack:
I’m curious if you hold the same attitudes regarding television, movies, theater, concerts, and every other form of entertainment:
Life’s too short to sit around watching other people play instruments. I’d rather be a participant in life than a spectator.
There are plenty of people out there who take theater too seriously. By not taking it seriously at all, I’m helping to maintain the cosmic balance.
Watching a movie is only interesting if you can pretend that it matters how it ends.
I agree that sports aren’t particularly valuable or necessary, but I would say that sports are more valuable and necessary than just about anything else on television or in movie theaters. I suppose I would give theater and museums the nod as being more intrinsically worthwile, but that’s about it. And I wouldn’t even go that far if the sports in question are the Olympics.
I agree.
Col. Jeff Cooper once made the following observation: “Up until the early part of the 20th Century, Americans (for the most part) were doers. Today, we are a nation of watchers. We would rather watch than do.”
I’d rather play sports than watch them, but I will watch football on television, and I LOVE to watch baseball in person. Pro basketball is a crock, but I do watch ACC basketball. NASCAR, which is really big here, holds no interest for me and I don’t pay the slightest attention to it. Of course, it also isn’t a sport.
I am not particularly interested in sports. I’m pretty sure that no one has ever thought I was “gay”.
Some people just give off a “gay” vibe.
The only thing people we’re “doing” in the early 20th Century was working on farms and reading books by candlelight.
There are people who go out and actually do stuff - play a sport, an instrument, join a club in school, play in a band, travel, be active in their community. There are also people who don’t do shit all day.
I’m a straight guy. I never liked sports as a kid (watching or playing) and as an adult I find some men’s obsession with sports (especially football) to be ridiculous, especially if their whole lives seem to revolve around it. Their entire quality of life is determined by whether or not their favorite team wins. They have trouble coping with the withdrawal of the off-season months. They take pride in being able to recite statisics about scores, players, etc. from any given season. I have better things to do with my time, personally and I don’t like devoting brain bytes to such meaningless trivia. I’m the bookish/nerdish looking type of person and I was this way as a kid with the same negative attitudes about sports, too, so of course I fit the stereotype for the non-sports enthusiast. I sucked in P.E. class and was the laughing stock of the class. The way other kids treated me for my lack of athletic prowess only made me hate sports even more. As for whether anyone has ever thought I was gay, some kids in my school thought this, but just because I was too shy to express any interest in girls and ogling them, unlike other boys in my class.