Originally posted by **Waverly **
I’ll go with #3? Your hairdresser is ugly? 
Hmm…This is fun! Since you guys don’t know me that well, I will give a list and see if some of you are good at spotting lies, or just doing research…
1.) I have several ‘dead spots’ in my brain that impair my speech and memory.
2.) I recently purchased a Gateway computer, from which my words cross the ether to you.
3.) I went to jail at age 17 for slapping my sister in the face.
4.) I have waited tables at about 10 restaurants, but the best money was at Waffle House.
Incubus, I think you did get caught farting in an elevator.
Waverly, I think you like some other vareity of wine, but not Merlot.
Originally posted by Deva
#4? The money stank?
Ooh ooh!! can I play?
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I once sailed into a hurricane, because we didn’t know exactly where it was.
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I once “blew” then president Clinton.
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As a waiter, I once waited on Ed Harris while working with Nicole Sullivan.
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I once hitch-hiked from Chicago to California.
Deva on a WAG, I’ll say #2, you actually bought a Dell.
Nice one, Scruloose! On the nose!
1.) I apparently have non-working, non-activity sections of my brain, found while undergoing MRIs for migraines.
2.) It’s a Dell.
3.) My sis let our puppy into my bedroom, where he promptly pooped in my bed. You’re durn right I smacked her one. My mom had me arrested.
4.) At Waffle House, I averaged $400 weekly in cash, plus the $80 paycheck.
Okay, Gum is the winner! I am a mental health consumer, not a provider. 
TeaElle, I never said I had a large lifetime dose, just that I knew it. 
787 mREM is about: 14 chest x-rays; 8-10 years of smoking; 20 transcontinental flights; or (as I managed to get 'em) 5 and 1/2 years in the Navy’s Nuclear Power Program.
Waverly, actually, I’ve been to the top of the big three NYC ‘height’ attractions: The Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, and the World Trade Towers. I thought of it beacuse, now, two of those three are impossible to achieve anymore. And you’ve never had shin splints til you’ve climbed to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
And, yes, my singing voice is that bad. Of course I love singing. :smack:
Scruloose, I’m going to guess (hope!) you didn’t actually sail into a hurricane. I’ve ridden through a couple while on a largish naval vessel, and we were doing 30 degree rolls. I shudder to think what the experience would have been like on a smaller vessel.
Gum, I’m guessing you’re not a natural strawberry blonde.
Waverly, hmm… interesting new list. I’m going to guess that you weren’t mistaken for the tennis pro, just because the others seem to ‘fit’ you somehow.
ultrafilter, I’m guessing the tiger story is the lie. I’m not going to be surprised to hear I’m wrong, but, man, that would have to have been one wimpy tiger. [ol]
[li]I like jobs dealing with hazmat.[/li][li]I have worked in more kitchens than labs, in spite of being a chemical tech by training.[/li][li]I have a small only(!) about 400 titles collection of japanese animation. [/li][li]I have eaten fugu.[/li][/ol]
Just for fun, I’ll even confess that one of my favorite lies to tell people is “No one can prove I was anywhere near the school the night it burned down.” Alas no school I’ve ever been involved with has ever burned.
Gum,Diva, you are correct!
Of course, I made it easy for everybody: Each statement is something I have mentioned before on the the Straight Dope. I figured it only fair to give everybody something to work with “What was it Incubus was ranting about again?” 
Its also a narcissistic way of seeing who reads my posts
The tiger story is true. It was a cub delivering a play-bite.
- My mother never made salads, I had my first at age 13.
- A man once paid me to lick my butt.
- I’ve eaten fried liver and enjoyed it.
- I stold a test in school and got an A.
Actually, Deva, Merlot is my favorite; but for some reason I never have more than a couple of bottles handy. So, yes, that was the lie.
If my hairdresser were ugly, I’d save a bundle and get less frequent haircuts. Despite a serve I was never quite happy with, I was indeed mistaken for the tennis pro. When the real pro didn’t show up, I also gave lessons - but they were free so I keep my amateur statues. No one doubted my evil though. It must show.
A few guesses:
OtakuLoki, no one enjoys hazmat paperwork.
Scruloose, I’m going with the hurricane.
gum, it seems plausible, but something about your hair color didn’t seem right
From the syntax, it seems you accepted. If this one is true, please entertain us with the story.
gum, actually, I have had green, purple and blue hair. Even magenta. There is this hair dye called “Manic Panic.” Cool stuff—comes in all sorts of colors. I didn’t dye all of my hair (I have long hair) but selected streaks. I liked it. Did it for several years. I might do it again.
OtakuLoki, well, yes, I did see them shoot part of “Blade Runner.” It was down on 3rd Street, downtown LA. The Bradbury building, you know, where Sebastian lived? The scene where Pris (Daryl Hannah) meets up with Sebastian was shot over and over and over again. Tedious, but cool. 'Cause, you know, it was “Blade Runner.”
In fact, I have been to Hawaii. I haven’t been to Alaska, however.
Scruloose, I’m going to guess the hitchhiking from Chicago to California one.
vanilla, I’m going to choose the fried liver one.
Originally posted by Scruloose
- I’m guessing you blew a plastic doll of president Clinton up? *
I’ll go with 4. That’s a long way.
Yay, I’m a winner, OtakuLoki. Màn, you climbed the statue of Liberty? Wow.
Originally posted by OtakuLoki
I have no idea what ‘hazmat’ or ‘fugu’ is. But I’ll go with the fugu, because it sounds yucky. # 4?
hehehe, Incubus Wow, ultrafilter.
Originally posted by vanilla
I wanna hear the story of your butt too.
I’ll go with #3. I can’t imagine anyone liking liver.
OtakuLoki, Waverly, I *am * a natural strawberry blonde and my hair did fell out when I dyed it. You’re wrong.
You’re right. Fugu is a Japanese delicacy of some… hazard, it is a blowfish that has deadly neurotoxins in some organs, eating it was a matter of trusting the chef to carefully remove the organs without letting any of the toxin taint the edible flesh. Not something for the faint of heart.
I love the Buson haiku about it:
I cannot see her tonight.
I have to give her up
So I will eat fugu.
Hazmat is short of hazardous materials, such as PCBs, radioactive contamination or other things that do bad things tm to you if you aren’t careful with the exposure. I enjoyed the challenge of the work, and the sense it was important, even if the paperwork could be a little daunting.
I had no doubt it fell out. I just was doubting you were a natural strawberry blonde. Cool.
gum, sorry. And my favorite band is a matter for my next list, so I’m not telling! (But my birthday is in my profile so some judicious googling might help.)
Yerks, this is fun! Here’s mine:
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I almost drowned at a water park once, trying to escape a wave pool that was pushing a turd at me.
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One of my favorite meals is roast caribou and frybread (bannock).
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I know how to hanglide.
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The first time I made a fringed buckskin shirt, it turned out well.
Guess, guess, guesssss?
#1 = True
Contrary to other’s guesses, I have 2 of all things listed: (Jessie & Jennifer / Baysa & StinkFish / Restaurant & Mason Yard / Bartles & James).
#2 = False
I have only 1 HS varsity letter & couldn’t have even played at a AAA level.
#3 = True
My Great Uncle Sep was one of the 2 German commando teams…
#4 = True
I love music…
DO I win? The lie was #4, I would never steal a test.
Yes, I used to eat fried liver; with lots of mashed potatoes. I liked it okay, but wouldn’t eat it anymore.
The butt story.
I won’t give the entire story, it sounds too Jerry Springer. My life with my former husband was kindof Springer like.
Short story: He and I went to Florida. Him and his brother were on the run from police.
We took our friend; she was a hoe.
They finally caught my husband and I needed bail money.
SO our friend “gave” me her trick so’s I could have the money(wasn’t much).
He was what is known as a “freak” someone who likes weird stuff (obviously).
So I let him lick my butt. He liked it, I suppose. I didn’t, but I got the money.
Now I can never run for poltical office. 
I’ll fess up:
1. I once sailed into a hurricane, because we didn’t know exactly where it was.
True. Hurricane Georges. We were in such a hurry to get back to Miami, we didn’t realize the storm had slowed, and we sailed dangerously close to the eye. It was the worst watch of my life.
2. I once “blew” then president Clinton.
True. And it was the real President Clinton. We he visited the base I was stationed at, I was selected to render the honors of piping him on and off the cutter with a Bos’n pipe. Thus, the joke on the boat became “I blew Clinton!” (I never said it was a funny joke)
3. As a waiter, I once waited on Ed Harris while working with Nicole Sullivan.
True. It was at a 50s diner called “The Varsity” in Evanston, IL.
4. I once hitch-hiked from Chicago to California.
False. As an alcohol driven teenager, a friend and I set out one morning to hitch-hike to Cali, but only made it 50 miles or so. We weren’t very smart back then.
So it looks like yosemite and gum had me pegged.
I’m gonna say #4. I can see all those things being true, but not 4. No way.