Last week my brother in law died. It was almost a suicide IMO. He was diabetic and he and I were diagnosed the same year and we are the same age. I changed my diet and went on Metformin. He went on Metformin and prayed. 13 years ago we both took 1 pill a day. Today I take 2, he was taking 18. He refused to change his diet and exercise was just too hard besides god made him that way. So he died.
I went to the funeral to console my baby sister, all our siblings showed up and the funeral was the next day. His preacher was his good ole fishing buddy and BIL had asked him to do the service. I knew he was Pentecostal and used to use snakes in his services but I didn’t expect he would at the funeral and he did not.
However, he did do a fire and brimstone service and asked all the non-saved to come up and confess their sins. At a funeral? New to me, but I just quietly sat and thought happy thoughts. He got my attention when he said THERE WILL BE NO HOMO SEX U ALS IN HEAVEN!! Whut? He continued, A WOMAN KISSING A WOMAN IS AN ABOM A NA SHUN UNTO THE LORD!!
That was enough for me, my BIL’s son is gay. My sister AND brother have gay sons, 2 granddaughters in attendance were gay.
When I got to the parking lot to reassess my decision, I turned and 18 of my relatives were right behind me, I have never been so proud of them.
There was a bit of crying and anger but I told them they do not have to believe in a hateful god and are free to believe in a loving god that welcomes everyone that has love in their heart.
Only 2 or 3 of them know I am an Atheist and I didn’t think that was the time to out myself, but I think the day is near.
The preacher came out and was being consoled by one of the other preachers, that he did nothing wrong. He was just stating the truth. My wife asked me to walk away, so I did.
Wow, the preacher was being consoled for causing controversy during a funeral. His beliefs are bad enough, but to think he and the other preacher do not understand how truly wrong it was to do what he did is well insane.
You did the right thing and you are a better man than me for walking away from the confrontation.
It would take a lot to make me walk out of a funeral service but I would not have sat still and listened to that bullshit for more than a few seconds. I imagine that your bil complained a lot to his preacher friend about all of the gays in his family and the preacher thought that he was honoring him or something.
If I had a nickel for every Pastor/Preacher/Priest who felt a funeral was the time to make a speech and a dumb one at that.
When my one uncle passed, the priest stopped the service just before communion and made a long and drawn out explanation of just who could and could not receive Communion in the Orthodox church. And since we’re a tight family and all everyone knew he was basically describing me. So he goes through the rest of the Rite and stands there with the cup ------- and only the choir went. I don’t know if Father was consoled afterwards but he did make several bright new Protestants that day. So all in all it wasn’t a bad deal.
I’m so sorry this happened at your BIL’s funeral. I don’t know why on earth anyone would feel the need to preach about sexuality at a funeral. But, hey, I’m an atheist, too.
I would have also walked out – a funeral is a time to remember the deceased, not to preach any kind of hate.
You handled it beautifully, and probably gave others there the courage to also walk out. Kudos for that. Bonus points for not confronting the preacher.
My wifes grandmother was an old time Unitarian from way back and when she died we had a Unitarian minister do the funeral. Now we knew nothing about Unitarianism so when we asked him a few of his beliefs on things life heaven, hell, and the after life and our mouths dropped never fully realizing how far out he and modern day Unitarianism could be. For the record she probably had not gone to a Unitarian church in maybe 20 years anyways and never in our talks were even close to what this guy believed. Nevertheless we let him do the service but a few of us got up to say a few words which, judging by his behavior, he had disagreements with.
So sometime the tables can be turned.
Then there was the time I was at another funeral for a family friend for a guy whom I thought was a worthless POS and scum of the earth and I wished so much it would have just been “good riddance” but the minister came up with all these nice things to say about the guy. I think everyone in attendance had to struggle to stay quiet.
Yeah, if BIL was close to A-hole preacher man, I kind of wonder if this wasn’t planned. It’s like a one last “Fuck You” to a family he (the BIL) disapproves of. A “Fuck You” I might add, presented, in a most epic way.
If it weren’t so damn hateful, it would almost be poetic the way you BIL left this world.
I wonder what you think UUs believe? Cause we believe a lot of things and I’ve heard Jesus preached for UU Christian funerals and gone to Sedars. Few things aren’t appropriate to preach in a UU church - hate being a big one. Unless you were preaching hate, you weren’t turning tables at all. Its perfectly OK to believe in heaven as a UU. That minister didn’t (mine is agnostic, but I know Christian UU ministers).
Thanks for the kind words, and yes it was spontaneous, sorry for the title.
There was a moment when I was standing in the aisle that I wanted to start “preaching” back, but I am sure I would have felt bad later. Maybe getting wiser in my old age after all.
My BIL might have planned it, but his captive audience wasn’t all that captive.
I have been told the preacher starting in on the damnation of America due to Obama after I left. Kinda wish someone had taped it.