Along the same lines, my 3 year old got a toy truck as a present the other day. While he was excitedly urging me to spring his prize from its box, I patiently undid twisted wire after twisted wire after twisted wire. Around each wheel and through the body of the truck as well as a few other choice locations. This seems to be the norm these days but I don’t get it. It’s an $8 toy. Are they that afraid of shoplifters?
You’re just not being devious enough. Since you’re pregnant, you can point out that they look like the Poppin’ Fresh Dough Boy. All you have do to is immediately apologize and say that its the hormones talking.
They’ll apologize, won’t do it again, and accept that it’s their fault. You’ll smirk and come post here to tell us about it. So, win-win.
I wish! I do the PT regimen five times a day, two of which fall in the workday. The routine only takes 20-30 minutes, and it takes longer than that just to get to the gym.
In order to not miss too much work, I now take over a conference room twice a day for my ‘shake rattle & roll.’ I had to go to HR with my dr. orders to get a ‘reasonable accomodation’ for this. That was a fun conversation, let me tell you.
Though witnesses have told me it is vastly entertaining to watch. Perhaps I’m missing an opportunity here. I could pop popcorn, sell tickets…
When you ask me a question, please listen to the answer. That’s how information is conveyed.
If you don’t listen to the answer, but pretend to - don’t get mad at me because you don’t know the answer.
I’m fucking sick of this conversation:
I start with “It’s raining.”*
time passes
“What’s the weather like?”
“It’s raining”
3 minutes of non-weather related conversation occurs
“The weather?”
“It’s raining”
“It’s…raining…” as you repeat my answer, and scribble something on a piece of paper (I would assume, “it’s raining” as that’s the place where it would make most sense to write it down, but I know from experience, that’s not what’s really happening.)
more time passes
“WHAT THE FUCK? I JUST WENT OUTSIDE. WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY IT WAS RAINING? Didn’t you know? You should have said something about the rain.”
“I’ll tell you that it’s raining next time it rains.”
Which I will. Just like I did this time. I can understand not really paying attention when the information is volunteered - but really, if you’re going to bother to ask, bother to listen.
*subject matter of the conversation changed to protect the rantee
The family of a certain online friend (see MPSIMS) did not send out word of the friend’s passing. They denied me the ability to perform some of the most profound mitzvot – giving the friend a decent burial and proper mourning, and comforting his family and friends.
My neighbor says," When I seen the doctor…" English is her native language! :mad:It makes my ears bleed!
Person I haven’t heard from in ten years who “finally tracked me down!”: That was… just plain scary. I don’t think my husband dug it either. Please don’t do it again.
Nope, just regular green peas. You know when you’re in the grocery store, and there’s sugar snap peas, and then snow peas, and then an empty rack? The ones that go in the empty rack.
How many fucking lawn guys do I have to go through this year. If I could do it myself I would.
First one was a friend of my ex-husbands. He was out of work and he offered to do it. I liked the guy and I figured he needed the extra cash. He did it three or four times and then stopped. I called him twice about it and he promised to come and get it done and then I gave up.
The second was a young man on craigslist that had an ad up for odd jobs including lawn cutting. I called him and he was great. He showed up every Saturday. Then about six weeks ago he started putting it off until Mondays. Which was really no big deal. He broke up with his girlfriend and was couch surfing. I understood. We have all been there and I even paid him twice in advance as he needed the money. The third advance bit me in the ass as he never showed. I called him several times and he also promised to show and never did. He claimed he was having a hard time getting a ride but had no problem getting the ride to pick up the cash early. Whatever!
Then came the third guy who is dating my daughter. After number two bombed out he offered to do it. I even paid him extra the first time as the grass was really long. He did it twice and here I am again with long fucking grass. He finally got a part time job so I guess cutting my lawn for spare cash is no longer needed. I can understand all that but just say that. Quit avoiding it. If you no longer want to do it just say so. I don’t like hanging for a week wondering if you are going to do it or not.
Now I have new guy showing up Monday. I again went to craigslist. I hope this guy works out until at least the end of the year. He sounded good on the phone and he lives in my city. He is scheduled to be here at 5:30 Monday evening. I will again have to offer extra as the grass is really long.
I pay on time, everytime why the fuck can’t I keep a lawn person. I would pay the big companies but they want to much but then again maybe the extra is for the peace of mind they will actually cut the fucking grass. I don’t care about weed eating or edging. I just want my fucking grass cut!
Lady at work: you’re a really sweet person, and most of the time I enjoy talking with you. But this is the second time in a week that you’ve gone out of your way to bring up how much your son hates gay people. Oh, and that gay people are all sinners, but that’s OK because we’re all sinners, but we should pray for them anyway, but don’t associate with them because people judge you by your friends. :rolleyes:
And while we’re sharing unsolicited opinions, your son is an absolute pig for trying to tell his girlfriend which college she should teach at…apparently, her first choice is a hotbed of homosexuality, and he just can’t have his woman teaching at a place like that.
Boss, I realize you make a lot of money and can affort to have some of it tied up indefinitely. I realize this because earlier this year I finally got you to sign your expense reports by pointing out you had not done so in over a year and had more than my fucking annual salary tied up in them!
However, not all of your employees are so fortunate. So sign the damn expense report that’s been on your desk for a week! It’s for mileage. It’s the same every month. I even do the analysis for you every time to prove he’s not out to stick it to the company for $400ish. The poor tech tries to work from his office in another city and update you via conference calls, but you make him drive all the way over here. So give the man his money!!!
Darling, I love you so, so much. But you don’t know how to buy jewelry.
I told a little white lie when I said I hadn’t seen the credit card statement. Honey, they saw you coming.
Next time, take me with you. It won’t be a surprise, but those people eat you alive.
To unknown coworker: tear off the damn paper towels you use!
Okay, you probably have some noble idea in mind. Maybe you are trying to reduce waste. Maybe you think you’re saving the planet or something. But drying your hands on a paper towel, making it all wet and crumpled and clearly used and yet still attached to the roll does NOT mean anyone else will reuse it!
Get real.
This roll is in the kitchen – people want to have clean hands before they eat, a lot of times they want a paper towel to put their food on while microwaving it, things like that. They want a CLEAN towel, not someone’s sloppy seconds.
That paper towel you used is going to be thrown away, you’re just forcing someone else to tear it off and toss it for you. Is that nice?? Did your mother bring you up to inconvenience others? I bet you’re the same person who leaves crumpled up tissues lying about on the bathroom counter sometimes. Do you think the rest of us want to handle your snotty trash??
Hey, here’s an idea: if you want to be so ecologically pure or whatever, bring in a cloth towel and you can feel superior AND actually be reducing waste.
Or, here’s an idea, rip off the towel you dried your hands on, and take it back to your desk! Figure out some way of hanging/spreading it out in your cubicle and then YOU can be the one to reuse it.
Just stop making office life just that little bit more unpleasant for all the rest of us.
It’s largeseeE, damnit, **LARGESSE
**1) Largesse!
I would point out more, but my largesse for helping posters with this sort of thing just ran out.
That is all.
So, when my grandmother tries to tell her son on the phone about what’s going on in her life and wants to tell him about our new house he cuts her off with “I already know all about it.”
*Oh, do you now? *
First off, thanks for being rude to her like that. You know she’s not as mobile as she’d like to be and she thought she was giving you the scoop of something new actually going on. Would it have killed you to listen to her interpretation of the news for five minutes?
Second, thanks for letting me know that you did apparently see the little update on my facebook status and read through the comments for more info, but couldn’t even be bothered to click “like” (for non-facebook users, this is just an easy way to “thumbs up” or “congratulations” without having to expend all that effort of typing such a long string of characters) or leave a quick note of said congratulations or anything of the sort. It’s not like our first house is a big deal or anything.
It’s not that I care whether you give me a pat on the back, but that was a pretty effective way to communicate your assholiness to both your mother and niece quite tidily and efficiently in one fell swoop so congrats to you!
Of course, I’m still annoyed by the time he loaded up the dishwasher and didn’t unload it before he left so she had to wait until Tuesday when the helper came before she could have any plates because she wasn’t allowed to bend over that far to unload it.
Good GOD, my cat just took a dump, and it stinks to high heaven! Ugh. Okay, guess I have to go scoop it. Damn.
Hey, it went into the litterbox, thus keeping it a mini rant. 
How long does it take to get a biopsy back, anyway? Should I call? Is it too soon? Fuck, if I wanted to live like this I’d start dating again.
I put my eyeshadow, brushes and powder in my travel make-up bag yesterday. I meant to put them in my purse because I was running late and figured I’d finish my make-up at work.
Can’t frickin’ find the bag now. I searched all over my apartment, in my car. It upsets me that this is happening more and more. I have some object I need to do something with. Apparently I get distracted at some point, and then I can’t remember where the hell I put the object. I live in a 1 BR apartment, and stuff is constantly going missing… I feel like I’m losing my mind.
You forgot to leave milk out for the brownies, didn’t you. 