Pretty much. Also, going grocery shopping for me, cooking me nice meals, doing my laundry, reminding me to pay my bills because I keep forgetting, playing with my cat while I’m at school, basically whatever I need done and don’t have time for. So, like, a slave. Since I’m a grad student, a slave’s wage is about what I can afford to pay, too.
Knomes? Did I read that right? Please, craigslist poster, tell me you wrote it that way because you were trying to lure me in to see the gnomes. Because spelling it that way is just wrong, even if there is “knife,” “knot,” and “knight.” And I don’t believe that fourth “knome” is really a gnome at all.
All day I’ve been looking for stuff on craigslist. It’s getting harder to restrain myself from sending “Your ad sucks. Learn to spell!” emails to the posters.
God damn Cecil, and Una to a lesser extent, to hell. The both of them, for this thread.
I hate Linkin Park and that damn song so much!!!
Yes yes, I know I did it to myself… sigh
Annoying?
I’ll tell you what’s annoying. Those pushcart fruit vendors at the parking-lot entrances to Best Buy and similar establishments, who put their carts at the edge of the curb, on the left side going out, so you can’t see the oncoming traffic as you leave.
Dear Lady at the Pool Today With Twins,
You live in New Jersey.
What the fuck possessed you to name your kids Jersey and Camden? This is not Nebraska. People here have actually seen Camden. They’ve sure as hell seen Jersey. Couldn’t you have at least picked a pretty part of the state? Say Upper Montclair or Cape May? Princeton or Essex Fells?
You’re clearly pregnant. What are you going to call the poor little girl you’re about to have any second? Short Hills Mall? Garden State Throughway? Exit Thirteen? Bob?
The poor little girls are either going to move out of state or ask for name changes to Jennifer and Cammie the minute they can say emancipated minor.
Sincerely,
Somewhere between hysterical laughter and complete disgust
Oh gawd, you don;t want him wearing cologne, that’s worse than BO.
My stomach hurts. I’m not sure why, it’s been bothering me for weeks.
And I hate chopping onions. Usually shallots are ok, but this afternoon it hurt so much I was excepting to see flecks of blood on my glasses. I’m hoping it’s just seasonal.
Nah, the daughter is going to be either Cherry Hill or Freehole.
I love peas. Peas in the pod. Peas in the pod are heaven. I will sit and happily devour kilos of peas in the pod.
Unfortunately, they are apparently only in season for an hour and a half each year. I managed to snag some from Longo’s last week, and now they’re gone.
Bye peas. Lurvs you.
I hate personality typing quizzes. They have no place outside of fashion magazines. They are not “surprising” or “revealing.” They don’t tell me anything about myself or how I interact with others. The only things they “get me thinking” are violent. Will someone make Large Corporations stop using them??
Goddamn gutterslut bitches who wear perfume to the gym for chrissakes. You’re all going to hell, and it can’t be soon enough for me. I hate you all.
Note to self: When doing a physical therapy regimen several times a day that involves throwing your head around at various odd angles and pulling approximately three gees, do not wear large, heavy earrings.
I am trying to open a small plastic package that contains a small gadget.
I tried pulling the 2 pieces of plastic apart, no go.
I got a knife and tried prying them apart. No go. It was actually almost bending the knife.
I looked for scisscors but could only find a small pair. Oh well. I attempt to cut the corner off. THE SCISSCORS BENT. They will not close now.
It is more difficult to get into this stupid package than fort knox
So I searched my house for my bigger pair of scisscors and couldn’t find them. So I just put the damn thing down on my stove and took a knife and repeatedly stabbed it, trying to cut a line across the top. Then I took a spatula to attempt to open up that fresh cut and pry the plastic back so I could squeeze the contents out through the hole.
Only that plastic is made of some sort of transparent carbon nanotube super strong material and it’s not going well. So I decide I’m in this for the long haul and sit down, at which point I notice my bigger pair of scisscors.
You’d think I was home free at that point, but I had to proceed to cut out about a quarter of the plastic on the damn thing piece by piece to get at the juicy center.
Do you two go to the same gym???
Another one:
To the people at my workplace: thank you oh so very much for commenting on how big I’m getting or how incredibly pregnant I look. This is only the second time I’ve done this, but it’s my understanding that women generally look pregnant when they’re entering the third trimester. You’re really helping my morale. Seriously. It’s not enough that I’m carrying something that’s using my internal organs as a punching bag; now I get people commenting on my size. By the way, those pants look a little snug Did you gain some weight? I only ask because you look like a sausage in casing.
Oh, and for God’s sake, stop calling me Mama or Mommy! Once this baby is born, I will lose my identity temporarily and become a milk cow. And quite possibly a complete nutjob for a few weeks. If it’s not too much to ask, I’d prefer to retain my identity for just a couple more months.
Callendars don’t lie. No, really, they don’t.
‘Doing it right for 22 years’. That’s what your sign says. I’ve lived about 5 blocks away, and I see your sign quite frequently. I saw it back when it was ‘doing it right for 12 years.’
That was less than five years ago.
It seems like you guys up the number of years every few months. There are things called callendars. They can tell you when the years go up! No, really! Get one and you won’t have to guess! I know mechanics have a rep for inflating numbers, but this? Just irks me.
snort
If it is also the same gym at which they put out a memo for all has been, wrinkled up, wannabe cougars to spackle on as much makeup as possible before they come take up machines for no discernible reason other than to use them as furniture while they see how many oiled up poseurs they can fit into their gaping, spray tanned, dried up pussies this evening…
could be.
My hostility is getting out of control!
Does this refer to snap peas? They are pretty much available year round here in non-metric land, though not inexpensive.
They are good.
I’m partial to Elizabeth.
Not the city though.
Goddamn it! The same person just said the above to me again. That’s twice this week. Sorry to post so much about this, but Jesus Christ on a pogo stick - why the fuck is saying something like that necessary or even acceptable? If I said whatever the hell came to my mind, I’d probably be fired. Damn it.