Star Trek Question Drinking contest

Who would win in a drinking contest: Scotty or Bones?
I know your first instinct is Scotty but think for a minute. Bones drinks a lot. He prescribes drinks. He knows all the best places on wide variety of planets. He gets smuggled shipments of Romulan Ale.

I think Bones would win.

Bones. Even though Scotty would try to cheat by transporting alcohol into McCoy’s stomach it wouldn’t work because Bones would have given himself something to negate the effects of the alcohol.

Spock would win. From the Wikipedia entry on Vulcans, they are depicted as immune to the effects of alcohol (in the novelization of Star Trek IV), although they can become inebriated from too much sucrose.

So long as it was alcohol and not something sweet like Singapore Slings, Spock would prevail. Now, I know he’s half human, but consider: His heart is where his liver should be, so - no liver. He cannot metabolize alcohol. Ipso facto, Spock wins.

Leaving out cheating by use of drugs or other technology… Scotty. Scotty is willing to go the distance, to shit-face himself and fall over in his own puke. McCoy is a moderate, and would stop himself before he humiliated himself in that fashion.

Okay, wait, that’s also introducing an extraneous element.

Scotty, then, because he’s bigger. All else being equal, body weight counts. (And I’m thinking TOS Scotty. In the movies, he’s even bigger!)

Ahem! Respectfully disagree. Your logic is faulty. The novelization of IV was done by Vonda McIntyre, who couldn’t write her way out of a wet paper bag. :mad: Ergo, any new information that might be gleaned from it is automatically suspect and should be disregarded.

With respect to the question at hand, if we’re talking about mint juleps vs neat scotch, the latter is obviously the stronger drink. Ergo, one would consume a greater amount of alcohol in a shorter period of time drinking neat scotch. On the other hand, if the actual number of drinks is what counts, it would require a much greater number of rounds to imbibe an equal amount of alcohol if one is drinking juleps.

If we’re talking about who could drink whom under the table, however, I’d go with Scotty, simply because it’s clear he’s had experience consuming vast quantities of alcohol and has built up a resistance to the stuff.

Yeah, I was afraid that “non-canon” descriptive term for the novelization was gonna bite me in the ass. How about the “heart is where the liver is, so no liver (perhaps)?” thing, though? That’s straight out of TOS!

Okay, my post was quite tongue-in-cheek. BTW, nice “Spock tone” in your answer to me. (Hey - “Spock tone”. I like it! “If everything is ready on the dark side of the moon, play the Spock-tones.”)

Spock has a liver, location undermined. He would find a drinking contest illogical and therefore not participate.
Chekov otoh, being stereotypically Russian, would drink vodka like it was water. Still, I think he’d wash out before either Scotty or Bones.
(are you geeking out that Scotty’s line is red and McCoy’s line is blue like I am?)

In Scotland, alcohol is considered a food group.

Scotty would win.

The answer, as always, is…

Kirk wins.

Because…Kirk! He also cheated. He reprogrammed the food synthesizer to give him half-strength booze.

Scotty. Now drink your drink.

I voted Scotty because of size.

For those of you saying Scotty would win because he is Scottish and they drink, remember McCoy is also a Scottish name. Even though he doesn’t have an accent, he may still have the Scots constitution.

Bones. Scotty likes drinking and getting drunk. Bones likes competition. He’d stay there, downing another whatever, possibly testing to see just how drunk he was now and then, and just do it, while Scotty would be all like “wahey the lads! I’ve got a bit of drink in me - anyone fancy joining me?” and forget to focus on standing up straight.

I’ve seen something similar play out in real life.

Scotty doesn’t win because he’s Scottish. He wins because he’s a walking Scottish stereotype.

Bones drinks like a normal non-teetotal man from the 60s. Scotty is a Drinker.

This is a man whose idea of how to defeat an alien was to get stinking, falling down drunk with him. And it took wiping out his entire supply of booze (including an unnamed green substance - which may have been Aldebaran whiskey, or it may have been a forgotten bottle of mouthwash - and a prized bottle of scotch) to do it.

It’s … grrreen!

Scotty would win, in part because McCoy wouldn’t even realize it was supposed to be a contest.

Heck, when McCoy came up with a cure for the Tholian Web insanity plague, based on a Klingon nerve gas(!) Scotty’s first question was “Can you mix it with Scotch?”

And took the flask with him to test the proposition.