Snopes is run by the CIA as a mis-information campaign.
Cecil Adams is really Jimmy Hoffa.
[sub]oh shit I blew his cover[/sub]
Remember all those Mars probe missions that failed a few years ago?
There never were any probes launched!
The government just claimed the probes were lost and the many billions of dollars were wasted…those bucks are now being diverted to BLACK OPS programs and padding secret slush funds.
John F. Kennedy was a valued Illuminati agent and an integral part of their plans for world domination. Unfortunately for them, Lee Oswald, acting alone, ruined their plans by killing Kennedy. Worst yet, he showed the world that it was possible for a single individual to change world history and that the Illuminati was unable to protect their own people.
So to redeem the situation, the Illuminati arranged to have Oswald killed as the start of their biggest operation; to disguise the actions of a single person and make it look like Kennedy was killed by a vast conspiracy. Unfortunately, they were unable to act quick enough to suppress the Warren Commission from seeing the real evidence (having decided a vice-president lacked any really power, the Illuminati allowed an uncontrolled independant like LBJ to take the office). But following this initial set-back, the Illuminati have spend decades brain washing witnesses into having false memories, creating new evidence, inventing new theories, and covertly funding the conspiracy industry. The capstone was building up one of their low level agents, Oliver Stone, as a major filmmaker and having him produce the film JFK.
A raw egg placed in a glass of Dr Pepper will cause a violent chemical reaction.
The Freemasons’ handshake is a registered trademark.
If you place a ping pong ball in a microwave, it will glow.
Since 1997, the UK has been sinking three inches a year. Authorities don’t know why this started, and the public hasn’t been told.
Richard Nixon had an extra nipple.
Two of Nostradamus’ riddles have been interpreted as predicting the rise and fall of New Coke.
Che Guevara could hypnotise cats.
Large passenger aircraft have a “self destruct” feature which can be remotely activated by various high level government agencies.
The US military is making biological weapons material in the Nevada desert. Oh hang on, that one’s true. 
That’s what they want you to think.
Actually, they were destroyed by space aliens for reasons unknown. NASA has visual proof (via Hubble) but won’t release it to prevent a panic.
Necrotising fasciitis (flesh eating bacteria) is now available in pill form on the black market. The pill’s manufacturers have tried to make a product that targets adipose fat only - it literally eats or dissolves fat away inside the body. Ideally this results in fast, efficient weight reduction - a loss of 50lbs in a week is not uncommon - although the new drug is very risky. It works great for some people but is a disaster for others hence its illegality. You either get slim or get eaten alive. The average size of coffins in the state where this drug is made has been reduced by 50% apparently.
[hijack]Have you ever tried writing fiction or satire professionally?[/hijack]
Princess Diana and John Kennedy, Jr. are not really dead. They are living on an island with Elvis, President Kennedy, Jim Morrison (he had to go somewhere after the lease on his tomb was up) and Marily Monroe.
Wal Marts house brand of potato chips and Pop are actually rejects from name brands deemed unsafe for human consumption. I know a freind who claims his uncle works for the company incharge of the disposal of these products. Many drivers simply sell the dangerous product to Wal Mart who repackage them for sale.
On a similar note the packaging of the chips and Pop can be used as an explosive when combined with melted glow in the dark stickers. terrorist organizations have been using these for years.
Actor Raul Julia didn’t die of cancer-he had AIDS that he got from a hyperdermic needle at a gas pump.
I liked yours, TheLoadedDog. Let me try a few…
-Early paper currency in the 1800’s was actually made out of hemp, due to the massive demand for American Currency(the first to make the switch) around the world and a desire not to deplete the source of paper. However, in 1901, Roosevelt decided to change it to paper, but there is still 5% hemp inside.
-When Alaska was purchased from Russia, the U.S. did not pay all the money because they found that several parts of it were worthless tundra. As such, Russia kept these parts, and during the Cold War, was able to store nuclear weapons and set up Nuclear Weapon Launch Silos in these areas without violating any treaties.
-The Nuclear Arms treaty that George W. Bush abandoned by setting up the missile defense plan was going to be nullified next year(2002) anyway, because the original creaters of the treaty did not want to have to be stuck with it later.
-In France, an American Tourist who attempted to speak simple French was arrested for being a public nuisance, because his French was grammatically horrid and he had a thick Southern Accent.
-Bill Gates began but eventually scrapped a project that would allow him to upload his mind onto a computer, so that he would not “die.”
-During their fateful voyage, Paul Revere and his companions were almost thrown in jail, because several people complained to police that they were disrupting their sleep with their midnight horseriding. The Sheriff did not buy their story that the British were coming, but let them off with a fine.
-One-Dollar bills are one of the largest carriers of small diseases.
-A police officer who in hot pursuit crossed the border of Mexico and tried to arrest a suspect in the other country was held prisoner by Mexican Police Forces for trying to operate out of his jurisdiction.
-Pepsi was originally a complete copy of Coca-Cola under a new name, just like several other products around at the time including two sodas by the name of Buzz and Pop!. Pepsi varied their formula only slightly after a lawsuit from Coke that said they were violating the patent.
-During the fall of the Soviet Union, authorities finally reported that Lenin(not me)'s body which had been on display was a fake made out of plaster. The real body was on display until 1937, when an accident during cleaning disolved a large patch of skin. The real body was cremated and a replica was set up.
The automobile industry has reportedly paid hundreds of millions of dollars to suppress the fact that by reading up-and-down text, the Chinese have permanently stunted their peripheral vision. As China prospers and citizens switch from narrow bicycles to wider automobiles, car crashes are expected to become the number one cause of death in China by 2015.
I’ll just riff on an existing UL.
Tom Green once shoved a fetal pig halfway up his rear, leaving the head exposed. He then went to a bar mitzvah and mooned the guests. When he tried to remove the pig, he couldn’t, so he had to go to a hospital have a doctor remove it. The doctor was Jewish.
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traffic lights emit cancerous light waves. its the government’s way of controlling the population.
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They are proposing a death tax in Nevada.
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The chevron pattern in crayola crayons? Satanic.
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A boy dying of leporsy is collecting toenail clippings, in order to be listed in the guiness book of world records before he dies.
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Andy Griffith owns TVLAND - thats why they play that horrid show so often.
The state of Utah does not really exist.
The Amish control the media. They’re the ones responsible for the cancellation of Straight Dope TV, as well as the current “reality/voyeur TV” craze.
Kurt Cobain, Notorious B.I.G., and Tupac Shakur are all living on an island paradise in the south Pacific, raking in huge royalties on all the records they’ve sold since they “died”.
I can’t. I am the captive of cult which exists anonymously. It does not declare itself or reveal its agenda. Its methods of control depend on an almost supernatural subtlety. I am this cult’s token scapegoat and a victim of their brand of white voodoo. I grew up without realising I was a prisoner of their intentions. Only when I attempt to realise the expectations of a normal individual can I sense the power they exert over my fate. I wouldn’t dare to try to become a writer. The cult would consider it too “high falutin’”.
Well, that one sounds a little schizoid, I must admit. But that’s the plan. That’s the plan.
I think it’s a sure bet that a celebrity will one day try to do the faked death thing for real. It surely has appeal for the right star. Thank you for your praise Spider Woman.
WARNING All good God fearing Americans Stand up an be heard!!
Atheists are out to destroy us all!
Friend and patriotic brother of God We need your Help. There is a proposal to declare Christianity a [BOLD]breakaway cult[/BOLD]of Judaism.
Worse yet it has been mentioned on Television that soon Congress and the Senate may also recognize this [BOLD]UNGODLY Lie[/BOLD]
A lobby of Atheists lead by Stanley S. usej and Georgina St. Nias has approached members of our government claiming that Christianity is merely a cult extension of the Jewish faith.
If this happens then Christianity will lose its status as a religion.
Atheists have tried to get this declaration made into law to further their satanic needs for decades but now they may have their way.
It is up to you, my friend, to make a difference. Before you delete this email without thinking about the consequences Think about those before us who failed to stand up for GOD.
Atheists have already ruined many minds through other declarations such as
The Earth revolves around the Sun
The value of Pie is a non terminating non repeating number (in a perfect universe?!?! blasphemous)
The World is older than 6000 years.
Man Evolved from Apes!!! (The ultimate affront to God and Common sense!!)
[BOLD]THESE ARE NOW TAUGHT IN OUR CHILDREN’S SCHOOLS!!![/BOLD]
Stand up and be counted, forward this email and three copies of this email to everyone on your mailing list. Send a message to the forces of evil by sending a message. If there are enough names on this email when it gets to our representatives in Washington we can avoid this [BOLD]LIE[/BOLD] being accepted as truth
Your friend in the Lord Bob Natas
67% of people in the Falkland Islands are suffering from mild radiation poisoning of unknown origin.
The US government has initiated a study to see if wearing baseball caps backwards is an accurate indicator of people having bony shell-like flaired ridges running along the skull.
People who collect stamps are 12 times more likely than the average person to disappear without a trace.
Pilsner beer causes penile shrinkage.
Cosmopolitans & malt liquor cause penile enlargement.