I always get a laugh from stories or exclamations that are almost definitively from one gender:
“So we drive past the snake, and then back up to catch it. It turns out it’s pregnant, and we put the eggs in a bowl on the bookshelf. We forget about it after a couple days, and a few weeks later, we’re catching king snakes through the house.”
“What?! 15 pairs of shoes!!! I have one pair!!”
Sorry, but I’m not coming up with the female versions right now. Anyone care to contribute some of those phrases that almost certainly came from one gender or the other?
<anthropological nitpick>You should use woman and man rather than female and male because you are referring to gender, not sex. Furthermore, since different cultures have vastly different ideas about what it means to be a man or a woman or other, there isn’t anything that could be said in this thread. If we get into biological functions, then it becomes sex, not gender.</anthropological nitpick>
“Step up to the plate!”
“Put the seat down!”
“Would you mind plunging the toilet for me?”
Men:
“My underwear is just fine. I’ve only worn them for a week.”
“What!? Two times in one day? I’m only human!”
“The grass NEEDS to be 3 inches high. So it can breath!”
“So I was leaving Tae Kwan Do class one night at midnight and as I was walking down this pitch black alley these five huge guys jumped out at me! Of course I took out two of them with my throwing stars and then I had to use the nunchakus on the other three. Wait, did I say three? It was six. All together it was nine huge guys wearing gang colors. I kicked their asses.”
Same phrase, different meanings depending on the gender. When women say this they’re probably discussing interior decorating. When men say this it likely means something else entirely.
“Mmm, dessert menu? Oh I can’t; really I can’t…oooo! Hot fudge, on a brownie with vanilla ice cream AND raspberry compote. Hmmm… do you want to share a dessert?”
“I said I was sorry when my knee hit your …hit you in the… well you know. Why don’t you sit up and breathe normally and stop acting all weird?”
“Curtains. You’re supposed to wash them? How often, or how do you know if they are dirty?”
Wow, these are horrible. I said both of the first two at times in the past. The third was said by my very old school bachelor without a clue last week when I mentioned something about washing my own curtains. His own, it turns out are not a very deep taupe-grey.
I still think this is horrible. But waaaaay to true, at least these three are. Some generalizions have a basis in fact.
Guess which of us said this one.
Okay, get the salad dressing out of the fridge… wow, thats a very cool mountain you made of Lego… No, not that one the Sesame-Ginger…Honey can you put the forks out… thank you thats a good boy, as I was saying I think I will plan to have our big dinner on Sunday this year, its just better for everyone…please sit at the table, no juice in the living room.
