Hee! My favorite commercial ever! Well, half my favoritie commercial, it needs the squeaky panda-voice “cooooome to luuuuunch, and have some bambooooo with meeeee!”
Meh. It’s been done. 
It’s the pandas and the intollerable sickeningly sweet cuteness of the entire circus around them. It’s enough to give you cavities.
“In the news: France reeling from continued riots, threat of new conflicts in Africa, more suicide bombings in the middle east, victims of Katrina cut off by FEMA, bird flu incidents on the rise… but first… Lets all take another look at the cute little baby panda in the DC zoo! Isn’t de wittle tyke pwecious… Oooooh…” :smack:
It’s a Panda folks. A fierce wild animal. It’d just as soon tear out your throat as look at you. It’s practicing on bamboo just so as it can better snap your bones. It’s a damned monster I tell you!
But it’s so CUTE!!!
Dammit, no animal has any right to be so frickin’ cute.
If you think the way people gush over pandas is annoying, just look at what they do with koala “bears”. Please, a stupid marsupial leaf-eater that smells like Chapstick and sleeps 20 hours a day; who needs 'em? I’ll take an American Black Bear or a Sun Bear any day.
Zoos are just generally kind of annoying and not slightly depressing, but they are a good place for photography; you get to take pictures of people acting like complete morons, and animals regarding them with disdain.
Oh, and I always forget, but because this is The PIT: shit, piss, cunt, fuck, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.
Stranger
You forgot “asswipe” and “Clinton got a blowjob!”
Stands and Applauds 
And “Why do you hate America.” Plus nobody has blamed the Bush administration or the liberal media. Lastly, when you hate pandas, the terrorists have won.
Don’t forget to tip your waitron. Goodnight everybody.
You know what would be totally cool? If zoos started mating animals of different species! I would pay good money to see a giraffe and a bear doing it, or a walrus and a panther–not to mention the suspense waiting for the offspring to come out!
Chapstick? Cough drops, maybe, but chapstick? That’s just silly.
I know this is the Pit, but as a biologist I feel the need to fight a little ignorance here.
It isn’t possible to mate animals of different species–in fact by the original (Mayr) definition of “species”, different species are reproductively isolated, that is, incapable of interbreeding. In some unusual cases animals from closely related species can interbreed and produce sterile offspring (horse + donkey = mule being the oft-quoted example), but that’s as far as you’ll get trying to breed interspecifically.
The examples you have quoted are much too divergent to breed; for instance giraffes have 30 chromosomes, whereas bears have 74. (Other than panda bears, but then it’s hard enough getting them to mate with other pandas!)
Actually, female pandas are in heat only about 2 days a year, so even in the wild fucking pandas are a pretty rare occurence.
Zat right, buddy? And have you TRIED it?
– Uke, just getting the willies thinking about a walrus in a negligee
I think you’re preaching to the choir mate.
Birds. And Bees do it.
Even educated fleas do it…
…I’m sure sometimes on the sly you do it.
Maybe later you and I might do it!
And Pandas are COOL!
especially the one in my freezer!
Now how did one get in your freezer?
I wish I could help with your problem, but I only remember how to an elephant out of the ice box.
Jim
I’d help, but I’m still figuring out how do get an elephant out of my pajamas.
What in the heck are you running around shooting elephants for?
Stranger
Is this really necessary?
Of course not, but it seems somewhat expected. 
Jim