Sadly, you are right. There will always be those who (1) think it is a new and clever comment, (2) think cussing is required in a PIT thread (hint: it ain’t), and (3) the first person who says “Hi Opal” gets a kick in the mother fucking ass.
Now that’s more in the spirit of things. 
Found: One sense of humor on silver band. Please check at Reception if yours is missing.
Stranger
I laughed my ass off at my #3 Opal reference. What were you saying again about lost humor? I thought my post was pretty damn funny, but maybe I am the only one.
It still doesn’t change the fact that your "because this is the PIT. . . ". was pretty old, dumb, and unnecessary.
Hoshi!
QuickSilver, you’re watching the news. That’s your problem right there. You can’t expect news on the news, especially the local news. It’s all about pandas and Christina Aguilera and how to cook a turkey. Stick to the internet, The Daily Show, and the occasional viewing of CNN or BBC News.
And Diane, if your ass were any tighter we could stick a lump of coal up there and in 6 weeks we’d have a diamond. Seriously, consider the decaf next time.
Where IS Zorro now anyway?
I need a new wastebasket.
I put the phrase “panda recipes” in Google (secretly hoping for a Googlewhack) and got 99 results. Of course.
Lord I wish that were true. I could quit my job and shit a fortune.
BTW - I find it highly entertaining and ironic that you took my post seriously.
I’m horrified at the thought that you’d poach an elephant just to make a wastebasket. What a jerk!
But if you’re going to do it anyway, can you have one of the other legs made into an umbrella stand for me?
Stranger
Glad I could entertain you. My work here is done. But, my comment was in response to all of your posts in this thread … which one wasn’t meant seriously?
I don’t get it … wouldn’t the trunk work better? 
I was serious about the “because this is the PIT” statement, it really is a dumb and unnecessary thing to say. Really. Ironically, I said it the way that I did because yaknow, “this is the PIT”.
Yo, as of 9:26, this panda is going to town on mama’s tit.
http://animal.discovery.com/cams/pandavidr.html
It’s pretty cool.
Pandas, as well as plenty of mamals in general have been doing this for eons… why is this suddenly cool? Or newsworthy for that matter… Particularly in captivity?
Next up… Captured on video… Bears shit in woods!
I have it on good authority that Opal likes diamonds and pandas.
Hi, Opal! Me, too.
Wow, a recommendation to switch caffiene intake, and a Ferris Beuller reference! what next, a reference to 1985 calling and wanting it’s originality back?
As for 3) Hi Opal, that shit got tiring in 1999.
Best comeback I’ve seen in a long time.
Brava!