I’m talking about those cliched jokes that are endlessly recycled. Are the comedy writers lazy or are some jokes always funny, even though you see them coming from a mile away? Sometimes I think the real joke is that the joke is so lame and predictable.
My favorite joke of this variety is when a guy takes a drink of some firewater and then, with the raspy voice, exclaims, “Smooth!”
I believe Elucidator always refers to the former Speaker of the House as Newt Gangrene. Predictable, yes. But it always makes me chuckle. The fact that it has become so routine might make it even funnier.
Fart in an elevator.
Makes me lose it…every time!
I don’t know if I’ll ever get tired of “That’s what she said!”
Kid: Mommy mommy, I hate daddy!
Mother: Shut up and keep eating!
ring…ring
“Hello? You don’t say. You don’t say! You don’t say!!”
“Who was it?”
“He didn’t say.”
“Doctor, it hurts when I do this!”
“Then don’t do that!”
Then there’s the one from Abbott & Costello and Scooby Doo, etc, in which a person sees a ghost or a mummy and is rendered speechless with fear. He tries to warn his companion by tapping his shoulder and wheezing helplessly but the friend is too preoccupied to take notice.
This isn’t exactly a ‘stock’ joke but it’s a silly one that I love:
Newsflash: A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint have crashed into each other. The crews of both ships are believed to have been marooned.
Ba dum tscchhhh!
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You neak up on him!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way! You neak up on him.
I don’t know why, but those two jokes always make me collapse in giggles.
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!!
For some reason, ANY comedy bit involving a cow dropping from the sky (a la Rat Race) always cracks me up. For me, it just always works…
Man getting hit in the groin. Always.
Farts and burps. In all situations.
I like it when you’re pouring something for someone and you say, “say when” and they actually say “when”. It’s so common, its not even a joke anymore, but it originally was a joke, I guess.
I like it when people say “Dummy!” like Fred Sanford.
I’m also a big fan of jokes where someone says something like “why are you eating cookies in the living room?” and he goes, “because we’re out of ice cream.”
When someone slips on dogshit
The old vadueville saw:
“Two Jews walk into a bar. You’d think one of them would have seen it!”
My husband just told me this joke, and swears that everyone but me already knew it:
A three legged dog walks into a bar and says “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
hee hee hee
I think I giggled for half an hour about that one.
Adam: I need a woman.
God: I can make you the sweetest, most loving, subservient, caring, soft, beautiful and tender creature on the planet for a leg, two fingers and an ear.
Adam: What can I get for a rib?
Lockz that made me laugh out loud.
A favorite quirk of an old roommate of mine was to -y everything… it’s from PeeWee’s Playhouse. Whenever he made a snack it was “mmm… raisiny” or “mmmm… peanutty” and he had a snack of a glass of water once… “mmmm… watery”.
One that never fails to get me is when my SO pronunces common words in strange ways. We were driving yesterday and he saw “Stagecoach Road”. St-agg-eck-oh-acch. Makes me giggle every time.
Trunk here’s a website for you http://www.channel101.com/show.php?title=kickedinthenuts
I’ve always loved the “pretending to walk down a flight of stairs” bit. Cracks me up whenever I see someone do that.
Me neither.