Setup: my wife has a sister with 4 kids. Her family lives in Upstate NY. My wife’s parents live in Pennsylvania, where they have lived all their lives, and where they raised my wife and her sister.
Obviously, this causes difficulties at times, because my wife’s parents want to visit their grandchildren, and often drive the four hours up there to see them. On some holidays she brings them down to see them here (whereupon they tear my in-laws house apart, and her and her husband do NOTHING to help cook, clean, pay for anything, but OK thats a different thread and my in-laws are grateful for the visits as stressful as they may be).
A few years ago, she announced they were no longer bringing the children home for Christmas, because she wanted to have Christmas morning at home, and enjoy the holiday rather than rushing through their presents, then rushing the brood into a van to Grandma’s house.
While it broke my wife’s parents heart and has kinda ruined Christmas for them, we understand why its hard for my sister in law to come down here with all the kids, and in giving in to her implied threat this would be the only way my wife’s parents would ever see their grandchildren for Chris----EEEEEER “a compromise” we now come up and see her family the day after Christmas. Oh, and my brother in law has parents too, who live near us, so the distance is a hardship on them as well. I have to be fair—they always come down for Thanksgiving and Easter (trust me, my SIL has threatened to not come down for those holidays either). I should also mention me and my wife have no children, and we have no “grandchildren” hostages of our own.
ANYWHOOOO . . . .this past Thanksgiving, it was revealed that my sister-in-law is now demanding her parents/my wife’s parents sell their house in PA, and move near them. Said parents have made it clear over and over again they dont want to move up there, they have lived HERE all their lives, and don’t like Upstate NY and hate the weather up there.
“Well” said my Sister-in-Law, not only to them, but to me and my wife one night, "I told them they can make the decision now, or I can make it for them."
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Uh, say WHAT???:dubious::dubious::dubious:
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What do you mean YOU will make the decision??? You have this thing called my wife, who happens to be your sister, who also happens to be their daughter too.
Oh, and by the way, my wife has a job where she has made contacts with powerful attorneys in the area. So, let me know how trying to declare my wife’s parents incompetent works out for you. BTW, my in-laws are both in their early 70s, have all their marbles, and are in decent physical shape for there age. I dont see them going senile anytime soon. -
My wife’s parents have made it clear: they are NOT moving up there. If you want free babysitters, which is partly what this is really all about, how about considering you and your husband finding a job down HERE??? No one asked you two to get married and move 250 miles away.
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My wife is more than capable of taking care of her parents than you are. How do I know this? Because unlike you, because you live 250 miles away, my wife actually visits and spends time every weekend with her parents.
I also know this because my Mother in law has to sleep on the floor when she visits you, because there is only one couch to sleep on, and it makes her uncomfortable because of physical problems. The floor isn’t great either. My father in law has made it clear he doesn’t want to get a hotel because he likes to get up early with his grandkids, and my mother in law doesn’t want to stay at a hotel by herself. Your husband has a well paying job: how about bucking up for a sofa bed for your Mother if you care for her so much you want there to move closer to you so you’ll be such a good daughter to her?
3… I know what’s next: "if you want to see the grandkids while they are still growing up . . . .
Well, I have news for you, honey. Me and my wife talk to your grandkids, a lot. Keep pushing the issue and maybe the next time Im in the room out of earshot with your sons, Ill mention how you are trying to push your parents into moving up here or they wont let you see their grandparents again. Wont that be an interesting question for you to try and answer when little Tony asks"Are you taking Grandmam and Grandpa away from us?"
Dirty pool? Not as dirty as you telling them they can’t eat candy or they will get “fat” like your sister (as revealed by little Joey).
Update: I found out this weekend my in-laws visited again, and here was my sister-in-law who found a nice ranch for sale in her neighborhood and took them to tour it. My wife parents smiled nicely and said, very nice house dear, but we are not moving up here. EVER.
Dear Sister-in-Law: I see right through your manipulative little game. You are pushing my in-laws to move up there now so you can have a free babysitter, and then when they do need to move into a home, and Im SUUUUURE you’ll find them a real nice one, you dont have to drive down here to see them.
But Im on to your little bitch game. The notion that YOU will put my in-laws into a home up in the frozen shithole you live in without any input from my sister is the height of obnoxiousness. And if you decide to hold your children as hostages, we have a plan for that too.
You aren’t going to win. My in-laws are staying here in PA. And they are going to see their grandchildren.
WHEN AND IF the time comes for them where they are not able bodied enough to come visit the kids, we will all sit down, like adults and discuss our options, AS A TEAM.
But if you want to fuck with me and my wife with some power play using your kids as hostages, we are ready to go to war.