Zebra, you must actually be a horse in zebra suit; you slipped and ‘neighed’ right in the middle of your post! That was beautiful!! 
As to the OP:
Come sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Better–
“Let’s get you out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini”–Mae West.
But I’ll second the vote for Doc’s
“Wanna see my post?”
“How’s it going?
Great so anyway my dick isn’t going to just suck itself.”
Yep that one gets me great results… :dubious:
Okay…going to hell…
Hey, I figured out what Jesus would do. You!
Mark
I should warn you, it’s a really long OP.
How 'bout:
What’s it gonna be-ee-ee-ee-ee-eee-ee?
or
You make my trouser puppet want to sing and dance!
or
Scream all you want, no one can hear you now!
“Wanna pet my meat weasel?”
Alternatively, “I’d like to get something straight between us.”
Or “Hi, I’m hard, are you wet?”
“Can I feed your fish?”
((((your boobs))))
So they have that grammatical construction on the other side of Lake Erie, too?!
I was thinking about this thread last night, and a moment from an old TV program, Remember WENN, popped into my head.
There’s a very attractive, flirty blonde on the program named Celia. She’s trying to get in good with the new boss, and as he passes her in the hall, she gives him a big smile and says, “Well hi!”
He gives her a polite hello and walks right past her. Celia actually looks dashed. One of the other women in the office says, “Maybe you should try another line?”
Celia pouts, “But, 'Well hi has always worked! It -is- my only line!”
So, I officially suggest, as a replacement to “How you doin’?”, “Well hi!”
8========@ Penetrates you @========8
What do you say we start our own SDMB poker thread, baby?
Just lie back, close your eyes and call me Cecil.
I’m intrigued by your boobies and wish to subscribe to your vagina.
Woohoo! I’m flirting like a mother fuck!
Wanna play Hal Briston and the sheep?
You can edit my posts, anytime.
I’d like to post you.
I see you brought furpie.
All your boobies are belong to us.
Wanna see my BBQ Pit?
I got yer “one ring.”
Let me show you my “smilie.”
:o+:p=:D
Is that a cite in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Check out this sig line, baby!
Can I see your sig?
“Like Tucker, I have a dream. But mine involves you naked with your legs spread.”
“Can I put my staff in your hobbit hole?”
“Can I put my lingam in your yoni?”
“Let’s find out what .69. . . equals.”
“Yarr! Wench, shiver me timber!”
“Guns, Germs, Steel- I’ll give you all three in exchange for naked pictures.”
Show us your other cat pics!
Wanna put the Lou in Lewinsky?
How about a dolphin ride?
How about some gotcha ya?!