So now that my daughter has learned to potty like a champ, she’s decided to take up a new vocation on the path to adulthood. Cursing!
My computer crashed and I said, “Fuck”. She looked at me sweetly and innocently and said, “Fuh”.
So many wrong images.
My friend’s daughter was very proud of herself when, as a 2-year-old, she stubbed her toe on the coffee table and loudly announced, “Ouch! Fuck!” And looked at her mommy for praise.
I had to remind Princess Potty Mouth not to reprimand her daughter for doing what she does all the time. “Serves you right!” I said.
Friend stopped swearing, so did daughter.
Yea, I hope I’ll stop swearing. It was really cute though. She just had this look like, “Daddy did I say it right?”
As my dad always used to say to me: “Never swear, son; it makes you sound like a fuckin’ asshole.”
A rite of passage every parent goes through…sigh.
At least, every parent with a mouth like a sailor (hey, I resemble that remark!).
Dweezil picked up our exact intonation of saying “GAAAAAHHD DAMmit!”.
One time I was carrying an armload of precariously-perched stuff and I knew, I just knew, something was gonna fall off. So when it did, I was prepared, and simply said DRAT. It was Dweezil who said “GAAAAAHHD DAMmit!” for me. :o
We started timing ourselves out for cussing - as in literally we’d stop what we were doing (unless we were driving - can’t stop that) and count out loud, to 20. It genuinely helped. (so much so that it led to our famous story of when Moon Unit was being delivered by c-section, and THE EPIDURAL DIDN’T QUITE WORK, my first words were NOT a string of profanities. I literally shouted out “BAD WORD”. Then I decided if there ever was a time to scream SHIT at medical professionals, this was it).
Bookmarks all of the threads in this series
If your daughter joins the dope in a few years, I’ll be sure to show her these, mmkay? 
During such situations in mixed company I opt for a wordless cry of anguish so as not to offend.
Are you sure she said “Fuh,” and not “Phở?” Maybe she is just hoping for an introduction to Vietnamese cuisine! 
My two-year-old quickly took to the most-used curse words in this household (by me, have to admit). Nothing more effective in tidying daddy’s mouth than a toddler spewing out emphatic curses with glee, at the awkwardest spots imaginable.
You may have the next Sarah Silverman on your hands there…that’s how she got her start, you know.
Is it something like this?
Mama Zappa - had something similar happen to me with the C-Section and the epidural and the screaming. Just reading your post made me seize up a little…
Years ago, a friend’s toddler, whose name was (and presumably still is!) Arizona, was flipping through flash cards looking for the one with a picture of the state of Arizona, and therefore, her name. As kids do, her flipping involved taking the top card and shoving it back into the deck pretty much anywhere, so some cards started to come back to the front pretty often. Upon the 3rd or 4th time she came across the Frog, she threw the card across the room and screamed “Fuck the Frog!” and then merrily kept looking for her name.
We don’t have kids, but my husband and I have started a running joke of using the word “doorknob!” as a curse, because we had a broken doorknob on our portico door and after forgetting to get a new one for the umpteenth time on a trip to the hardware store, I walked into the house, saw the broken doorknob and just said “Ah, doorknob!”
We think we will try and use that if and when we have kids!
That’s the strongest deterrant I’ve heard yet!
Yeah, we’ve decided that when our daughter says it we’re going to say, “It’s pronounced ‘fork’.”
We also took to saying, “Take that peaches!!!”
I remember sitting on the couch while my daughter was in her playpen and she started repeatedly calling me an asshole. She knew about three words at the time. What was her mother saying when I wasn’t around?
Heh. That’s exactly what she wanted to know! I tell my kids, “Yep, you said it just right, but that’s a grown up word. Let’s think of some other words you can use that won’t give grandma the vapors, okay?” And then we spend the next 5 minutes thinking up kiddie curse words and phrases.
Right now, the three year old’s favorite is “rotten rutabagas!” 
Story from my friends:
Driving down a windy mountain road, aunt has to swerve to avoid some wildlife. She calls out, “Damn quail!”
Neice looks confused, “What’s a damn quail?”
Friend, trying to mend the possible language situation, says, “He’s a politician. And it’s Dan, not Damn.”
What a shock. I’d always assumed you were a Ms. Was
Bilingualism has its advantages. One of which is that [fok](http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fok_(zeil))is actually a word in Dutch.
We decided therefore that Eldest was simply very interested in sailing.