Will you please shut up when I’m speaking. If you anticipate what I’m going to say, please don’t jump in on the last syllable of my sentance. It’s weird. Please just let me say what I’m going to say rather than trying to sound like we’re always thinking the same thing and finishing each other’s sentances. We aren’t.
Do you know how many people have commented to me privately about when you do that? People ask me all the time what you’re deal is, or if they’re imagining things and should mind their own business.
PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING AT YOU!!! I just don’t have the heart to tell you.
Keep your fucking mouth shut when I’m talking. It’s embarrassing when you interject a syllable to show that we’re on the same waivelength!!! It’s annoying as shit for me too! I can’t keep my mouth shut much longer. One of these days, I’m going to blow up at you no matter who’s present. JUST SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. I’ll listen to what you have to say when I’m done talking. I’ll keep my mouth shut and let you have your own words. Can you please do the same for me?
…what? When you’re speaking? Don’t you think we know that? Why do you always think what you have to say is so frigging essential? Like you have to finish your sentence in order to save the earth from flying out of its orbit or something. Did it ever occur to you that your twenty second pauses are damn unnerving? Did you have any idea that we all have meetings about this behind your back? I just can’t get a word in edgewise to tell you.
The wife of a friend always does that: she anticipates what I’m going to say and finishes my sentences for me. Except she never guesses right. So, I stop, sigh deeply, and continue. Sometimes I joke “that was not my ending but now that you have given us yours, I can see it is much better than mine and mine is not worth telling”. But she keeps doing it. She just cannot shut up. Her little brain is directly engaged with her mouth and there is no "off"switch. Everything which crosses her mind goes directly to her mouth. Argh!
Add to this rant (no hijack intended) those who listen to your discourse on any topic, and follow up immediately with something wholly un-germane to what you were speaking about!
A pox on these people and their ill-advised tongues!
The thing is, it’s not just finishing what she thinks I’m going to say. She lets me begin the word, and then chimes in on the LAST FUCKING SYLLABLE. What the fuck is that? That’s fucked up. It’s like some kind of weirdo Terrets Syndrome twitch where she makes meaningless sounds (ounds), and says what I’m already saying (ing).
One example of this is from last night. We were watching a movie and someone mentioned the drug Haldol. I was telling my boyfriend that Haldo is an anti-psychotic, when she suddenly shoved herself into what I was saying by finishing the word with me (chotic!)
She’s really lucky I don’t keep guns in the house.
sailor: My mom does that. Her specialty is ruining punch lines. There’s one joke in particular that I’ve never gotten to tell because she always steamrollers me with a punchline that isn’t even funny!
I knew a guy like that once. He would sit, poised with his mouth open, ready to spring as soon as you stopped talking. And the funny thing about it was…while he was doing this, he wasn’t listening! The breaking point was the time I told him about a gorgeous photo I’d seen in a library magazine. “It was so beautiful,” I said. “But I couldn’t bring myself to tear it out, like some people would, and Xeroxing it would have been pointless, because it was the colors that grabbed me. [describes colors] Well, maybe I can find a copy at a used bookstore.”
“Or you could go back and Xerox it.”
[Rilchiam walks to window and gazes out, letting dramatic silence fall.] “You know…I hear a lot of talk from you about how it’s so hard for you to make friends. May I make two suggestions? A, don’t glottal-stop at people when they’re talking. B, stop thinking about what you want to say, and fucking listen!”
I also hate it the kind of people Libertarian describes: people who reach what sounds like a natural stopping point and pause, so you start to reply, then they keep going and talk right over you. Is that interrupting? I think not. At the very least, they could say, “Wait, I’m not done,” instead of just barrelling on like they’re royalty and no one else gets to speak until they wave their hand.
Oh, and about that joke. It’s really only funny to people who have children under 10, and that’s who I tell it to. Or try to tell it to.
Rilchiam: “Kid says to his mom: ‘You know that vase you have, that you’re always worried I’m gonna break?’ Mom says, ‘Yessssss…?’ Kid says—”
RilchMom: “I BROKE IT!!!”
Rilchiam: [grits teeth] “Kid says, ‘Your worries are over.’”
Not a sidesplitter, I admit, but at least mildly amusing if you have children and if you hear the correct punchline first. I mean, WTF! Of course the kid broke it; the humor (as such) is in the spin he puts on it: no more tension on that front!..And then there’s the one about the trumpet player who got caught in a jam…and the one with the…[Rilchiam walks away muttering and pulling at her hair]
Yeah, my boss does this to me all the time at work which frustates the pants off me, so now when I spot her doing it, I will purposely change the end of my sentence so she looks like a dork.
OMG! I do that too sometimes! I know it’s mean, but it’s like a shock collar. If I keep doing it, she’ll fear being wrong and KEEP HER FUCKING MOUTH SHUT.
Um, I’m a compulsive interrupter and sentence-finisher. I try really hard not to, and I’ve gotten a lot better, but sometimes the speaker just isn’t going fast enough for me, so I automatically finish for them so I can talk again. My siblings are all the same way – dinner time at our house was a conversational deathmatch free-for-all.
So, on behalf of all my ill-mannered brethren, I apologize.
I had a room-mate who did that (just one of many annoying habits)…until I fixed him with a level stare and mentioned that I’ve been talking and finishing my own sentences for thirty years now, I’m much better at knowing what I’m about to say than he is, and I don’t need any help, thankyouverymuch.
He didn’t stop, of course…but I’d :dubious: at him, and he’d apologize.
