Thankfully I was at home the only time I was visited by the technicolor snot fairy. I’d never had a sinus infection and was having ever so much fun what with the pain, stuffed up and dripping, chapped, bleeding nose, etc. Finally it was just about over when I went to blow my nose and kept blowing and blowing, like some sort of saxophone solo from hell.
After about two minutes, something just sort of snapped free in my head and I swear it felt like my brain had come loose and was traveling through my sinuses and down my nostrils. All of a sudden my tissue was heavy and whatever was lurking in there was warm and soft and jiggly. Trying to process that I’d somehow managed to blow my brains out into a tissue was rather difficult, for obvious reasons, so you can understand how I made the very bad decision to look inside the tissue.
Erkleblerg! Did you know that snot can be brown? Many, many different shades of brown, with flecks of grey, a little river of sulfur yellow running through, and threads of red blood like delicate veins through the clear, well, membrane that encased my homegrown work of art. I might not have won any prizes for it, but darned if I couldn’t breathe freely for the first time in a week.