The amazing mucus rope (TMI, natch)

I had a bad, really snotty cold for most of last week. It’s pretty much gone now, but my nose is still all stuffed up. Or, should I say, was.

I was fed up with sniffling and trying to get air through my gunged up passages. So I retired to the bathroom and gave my nose a really good blow. At first, nothing, apart from my eardrums threatening to burst. Then I felt something start to dislodge and rattle in the left nostril. One more blow and - it’s clear. But the right nostril is still packed solid. So I run some hot water into the sink, stick a towel over my head and inhale a bit of steam. I can feel something start to loosening.



At this point the tissue has been filled with a dark greenish yellow mucus explosion, with a string – nay, a rope, a good quarter-inch thick, still stretching back to my nose. At which I point I think, “Hmm, that looks pretty solid. I wonder…”

So I grasp the Amazing Mucus Rope between thumb and forefinger. It feels a bit like pinching a rubber band. I pull, gently. As it extrudes from my nostril, I grip with the other hand and reach up to pull some more out. WTF? Am I about to pull an eyeball out through my nose?

I repeat this process three, four, five times, hand over hand. My hand are covered with icky goop but it feels so good to be yanking this stuff out. I can actually feel it pulling through my sinuses. Then finally, with a hugely satisfying splut the end of the AMR plops into my hand, topped off with a more solid piece of mucus that is presumably moulded to the shape of some distant part of the back of my skull.

And wow - my nose has never felt so clear! It’s like I have brand new sinuses. (Or at least was, as it’s already starting to clog up again :frowning: )

Just thought I’d share that with you.

That must have felt fantastic!

Thanks for sharing. I got a bit of a thrill just reading it. :smiley:


What did you do with this mighty cable of phlegm? Did it go down the sink, in the wastebasket, or in the toilet?

I think it’s a nasal tapeworm of some variety.

Part of me wants to see it.

Part of me wants to lick it.


I’ve had a somewhat similar experiance with “Faire boogers.” Has a crusty one at the egde of a nostril. Discretely turned away, hooked with with a fingernail, and felt this same long rope start to exit the sinus. A marvelously different feeling. You can feel every millimeter exit. Lucky you!

I’m jealous. I want a nose goblin of my very own.

Ooh. gonzomax says you should have taken a picture of it and put it up as art in Cafe Society.

Definitely need a picture!

On a similar note, a friend of mine told me once when her son was about 4 months old, he had a really bad cold and couldn’t breathe properly from the congestion. She was so upset to see him in pain/discomfort, she actually leant down, covered his nose and mouth with her mouth and proceeded to suck all the snot out of him! Eeeeeewwwwww!

But it worked - he got better in a real hurry after that - probably scared stupid that if he didn’t, his mum would suck his brains out!

That’s infinitely more disgusting than the OP.

And that, my friends, is what we call “love”.

I could see myself doing that for someone I loved.

By the way, that’s also very close to “taking one for the team”, too.

Next time try NR or ExLax for faster relief.
Qwick fill you neti-pot.

Oh gross. Too bad she didn’t have one of those bulb things used to clear the noses of newborns. I suppose you might be able to use a turkey baster for a similar effect. Or would that be too big for a four month old’s nose? I don’t know much about babies. Or turkey basters, for that matter. I dare some intrepid parent to find out. :slight_smile:

Also thanks for sharing, Colophon. I’m sorry to hear that you’re already getting clogged up. Where does all that snot come from anyway?

I had that happen to me but through what I call a “suck back”. I can’t really describe what a suck back is, but you guys all know, right. So, the mucus rope ended up in my mouth, of course. I didn’t find it gross or anything, but you might.

Way, way too big. The Snot-Sucker (if it’s not the official name, it should be) has a tiny hole - maybe 1/8 of an inch - for tiny noses.

I don’t think I could get a turkey baster up my nose. Although, now that you mention it, it’s worth a try…


That should make for an interesting Thanksgiving this year…

An eye-dropper then? Might not have enough suction power, though.

Yeah, why not, right? :wink: However, if you accidentally give yourself a lobotomy, it’s not my fault!

Okay - I read this thread about 20 minutes ago, and moved on. Just now I stopped myself from blowing my nose because the thought flashed through my brain that perhaps I can grow my own AMR.

I sneezed in my high school math class and exuded a 3’ snot rope, hitting the guy in front of me. 'Twas impressive and I was well-remembered for it!

I had an AMR once, when I was 13 or 14. I leaned over the kitchen sink for a good while pulling the damn thing out. Mine wasn’t all different colors though, just sorta whitish.