No, sorry. This is not a gay thread. Nor am I asking about your gay experiences.
Last night, I read a thread about the movie Rent, and there was mention of a group of guys who kept a space of one empty seat between each of them.
Today, I read a thread about President Lincoln and was reminded of the gay rumours about him which are based in part, on the fact he shared a bed with his best male friend for several years. Of course the obvious first arguement against this is that “that’s what they did back then.” But I got to thinking.
First, I’m 41. When I was a small kid, it was nothing for me to sleep with my brother (except that I hated him). At home, we had separate beds. When staying at someone else’s house, it was simply understood we’d sleep in the same bed. Likewise, if we were traveling and had to stay at a hotel or something, we’d be in the same bed.
When I was a little older and able to sleep at friends’ houses, it was perfectly normal and expected us boys would sleep together.
A little older still, in my teens and old enough to go out and party and crash at so-and-so’s house because their parents weren’t home, it wasn’t uncommon to crash with not just one, but sometimes two or three of your buddies, if the bed were big enough. Around this time girls got included too, if it worked out that way. No, it wasn’t a sex orgy thing, we just thought it was cool. This was in the 80’s.
Older still, when I was in the Army and stationed in Europe, sometimes the mission would require temporary duty which involved lots of traveling around and staying at regular European hotels. We’d be authorized a double room. An American would think “double” means two beds, but it often doesn’t. It means one bed big enough for two. So, you’d share a bed with one of the other guys in your group. No biggie. Okay, maybe a little giggling and macho fag jokes, but when in Rome and all that. It wasn’t so big a deal one of you’d prefer the floor to sleeping with a guy. This was early 90’s.
Mid 90’s, I was stationed in a multi-service outfit, and there was a group of us buddies that consisted of one Army (me), one Navy, one Airforce, and one Marine. People used to call us the Musketeers, but whatever.
I remember going to the movies with my buds and maybe because we were a bit older at this point, it didn’t occur to us to not sit next to each other. But we noticed a lot of the young guys were now sitting with that one empty seat space between them. We laughed at them and joked with our Marine friend, because he was expected to be the most macho of us, whether he required an empty seat space in order to maintain his masculinity. He laughed and “no, those guys are just stupid.” So we’d sit there next to each other, share our popcorn and enjoy the movie.
Since then, I’ve noticed increasingly that guys require the one empty seat spacing in movies. I swear if space allows, I’ve seen two-seat spacing among guys and at least once I’ve seen three-seat spacing. If this trend continues, it’s going to be almost impossible for a group of male buds to hit the movies, as they’ll require ten seats, and five rows between each of them. Hell, I can see a time when it’s basically one guy per theater, and you have to find a theater showing the same movie on five screens.
What’s up with this? Are you afraid you’ll look gay? Is this a consequence of the gay rights movement? It kinda seems to me that the more open gay men get, and the more obvious the gay rights movement as a whole gets, the larger the acceptable personal space between straight guys gets.
I’ve noticed here locally what might be a counter-trend, at least in bars. It seems some straight guys are also thinking things are getting a bit out of hand, and apparently it’s okay to lower your voice an octave or two, say “hey, c’mere and gimme some love” and give your buddy a quick manly hug and a couple slaps on the back, as a way of greeting.
But where’s this all going? It still seems like the personal space thing is growing ever larger, and pretty soon the only affection two straight guys will show each other is a long-distance phone call every six months.
What about bed-sharing? Straight guys, ever share a bed with another guy? Would you now, if conditions warrented, or would it creep you out too much? Would you rather sleep on the floor?
I’ve noticed on reality shows, whenever you have a group of guys & girls and they have to all share a sleeping space, or they have to double up, they always do it boy-girl-boy-girl. Only once, on Survivor did I see two guys double up and cuddle for warmth. It was Richard Hatch and Lex. But Hatch is gay, and Lex is the crazy tattooed pierced guy who is secure in his masculinity and probably has few inhibitions.
Are you following this increasing safe distance between men trend? Do you ever think about why? Or what its consequences might be? Ever feel you’re missing out on some perfectly healthy, normal heterosexual guy-guy bonding/intimacy/affection?
Do you blame the gay rights movement for this, or ever thought about it?
Do you think this “safe distance” thing is going to just keep increasing, or might there someday, be a sort of backlash when straight guys themselves say “enough is enough, I don’t care if I look gay.”
Is the reason you don’t come too physically close to your buddies mainly because you’re afraid of looking gay, or are there other reasons?
Do your prefer the way things are going, because, I dunno, guys are gross and who’d want to come withn ten feet of one anyway?
Thoughts, anyone?