Disclaimer;
[This is intended to be a fun thread, and not meant to bash or make fun of non-hetero males (or females for that matter). Or anyone else on the planet without a sense of humor.]
You may qualify an activity with an equal and opposite activity that may or may not justify the first activity, see point three.
Things you will never catch me doing to/with another man;
1–Brush crumbs off friends beard
2—Slap friend in buttocks
3----Go with guy to the Opera, (unless a ball game immediately followed, a game involving sports that is)
4-----See friend naked when simple steps can be taken to avoid it, (if inhebriation is involved all bets are off)
5------Of course, the tanning lotion thing
6-------Playing with dudes hair, or plucking eyebrows, eyelashes, or any form of manicure/pedicure activities
7--------Any activities involving any variations of point 4 (re-include the alcohol disclaimer)
8---------Notify friend that large booger is visible in nostril. Just kidding, I like to tell friends that large boogers are present when none, if fact, are.
OK, let 'er rip…
(If someone deems it necessary, in the interest of research, to start a female or gay version of thread, have at it.)
When I was in my early 20s and still in the closet, my best straight bud (who didn’t know I was gay) refused to go to the movies with me because it “looked gay.” :rolleyes:
My best friend and I are extremely close friends, but we do not touch each other. Ever. I probably haven’t touched my friend in the better part of a year- there just isn’t any reason to, and we are not touchy feely (back patting/high fives/etc).
Heh. One time, a visiting friend and I were going out on the town. He was a hard-headed ex-Marine and full of bluster. I had just started lifting weights at the time, and I literally couldn’t lift my arms above my head. We had gone to a restaurant, and when we were don, I was trying to put on my jacket, but couldn’t, because my arms were so stiff and sore. So, I asked my ex-Marine friend to help me out. He did, but was grumbling about us “looking like a couple of faggots”. :rolleyes:
Coincidentally, that was the very night I met my wife.
Any straight guy will be able to show you the difference between the kind of hug you give a female friend and the “guy hug.”
You can go shopping with a male friend for the following categories of items:
Sporting goods
Hardware
Porn
You absolute can not shop with another man for the following categories:
Underwear
Anything that goes in the bedroom. whether linens, furniture or decorations
Marital aids
It is appropriate to tell another man that his zipper is open. It is not appropriate to say “here, let me get that for you.”
I remember the first week I started working at a grocery store with a college friend. He didn’t like us both walking to the car dressed in identical white shirts and tan slacks because that looked “like we were gay or something.”
My friends and I have no trouble going to a movie together or even sitting next to each other. It has never occurred to me that people might think we were dating.
Female hug: Very embrace full, both arms, possibly lots of back rubbbing.
Male hug: Starts out as just a handshake, then oen guy pulls the other in, reaches other arm around, and whle keeping the crotches as far apart as they can be while the chests touch, slaps him forcefully on the back three times.
To add to the list:
Give each other a backrub
Sit on the same side of the booth
There was a recent article somewhere–Salonmaybe–that claimed that two straight guys couldn’t go to a nice restaurant together, although burger joints and bars with food were okay. Also, that if they did go to a restaurant they could each order a glass of wine, but couldn’t order a bottle to share.
Small Clanger - there is a marked difference, I think between male and female relationship “gossip”.
Men can in fact talk about their relationships and not sound gay. For instance:
“Goddam woman just won’t get off my back lately. She complains about the house, the bills, the kids - all I want to do is spend my Sunday watching the game and she calls me “lazy.” I just can’t please her. Gimme another drink.”
This is an acceptable relationship conversation example.
Discussing anything about sex other than frequency, length of time and/or number of women is off-limits. Even talking technique is a bit “iffy”.
Oh, this kind of reminds me…(Tangent anecdote warning):
When I was a teenager, sometimes when 3 guys would be in a truck, the guy on the far right would wait until an opportune moment (like cruising by a group of girls), then quickly reach over and honk the horn, then duck down, so it looks like two guys are sitting close together like boyfriends. Wow, load of laughs that was. :o