My son is almost one year old, and he is having difficulty sleeping anywhere but our bed. He starts the night in his crib, but after just a few hours, he has to be in our bed. But I’ve noticed that when I go in to give him a bottle, he doesn’t really drink anything, he justs sort of plays with the nipple. Does he really want a pacifier? Anyone else have a kid who went back to a pacifier at one year? He hasn’t had an interest in a pacifier since he was about 2 months old. Is this normal? What is going on? Anyone have any ideas? Any help you can give me would be great.
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Mine has just turned one and she’s mostly sleeping OK. She has, however, recently started actively trying to get her own way and chucking a wobbly when she doesn’t. That may have something to do with it.
As for dummies, there seems to be great variability. At one, I can’t see any harm in offering it. My only advice would be always to try to settle him a few times before letting him into your bed. You don’t want to get him into the habit of assuming that when he wakes up that means it’s time to go into the big bed.
first, I have to ask the question: Are you doing this because you don’t want to spoil baby? or are you doing this because you and hubby can’t get a peacefull nights sleep when baby is in bed with you?
If it’s the former; I’d say don’t worry about it, my son slept with us untill he was nearly two. He’s eight now and seems like a perfectly normal kid to me. [shrugs]
If it’s the latter I’d say you’d just have to buckle up, grin and bear it.
*It should be noted that my son had older brothers around. When he got to be around two he started to identify with them more, hence he WANTED to sleep in the boys room as opposed to ours.
In regards to the pacifier, my daughter had one until after her first birthday, then we got rid of it. So your son wanting one at this age is completely normal*.
In regards to the sleeping… what were his sleeping habits before? Did he sleep with you prior to this, or is he just now deciding to get out of his bed to join his parents?
*Don’t worry about “normal”. “Normal” is what your kid does, not some predefined path the kid MUST follow in order to be considered, well, “normal”.
I wouldn’t go back to the paci - he may want it, but building comfort habits to sleep will be painful to break later.
SHAKES is on the right path, if you can put up with this, it may be easier to break later.
If you can’t put up with it (and not everyone can suck it up - I couldn’t), take him back to bed everytime. Tuck him back in. It might be a struggle.
I spent several months in a sleeping bag on the floor of my son’s room while he learned to sleep in his own bed. Unlike SHAKES kid, he is now seven and would still much prefer to be in Mom’s bed than his own, so don’t count on him just growing out of it.
My son was on the pacifier till almost three, so I can’t speak to the going back to it issue. However, he also wouldn’t sleep anywhere but our bed and that went on for a very long time. Let me give this bit of implied advise to you: life was much easier for my husband and me when we decided to stop fighting it. Eventually he got too big for our bed and we got him to sleep by himself in a great many stages. And, like Dangerosa’s son, he hasn’t completely outgrown it and loves when it’s jam night for daddy because he gets to sleep in mommy’s bed and he’ll be seven in January.
Oh, and the pacifier? We got rid of that in stages too. One of the best things was when he moved up to a bigger kid room in daycare and some kid made fun of him. After that it was for home use only.
Just because a child sleeps in his or her bed as a one or two year old, doesn’t mean they will as a three or four year old (or 8 or 18). That’s not regression so much as a reflection of the changes kids go through as they grow up.
There is really no such thing (at least with all three of my kids) as sleeping through the night once and for all. Each one of them went through times in their childhood where they’d get up in the middle of the night and come into the parent’s bed for various lengths of time. All three went through periods when they preferred sleeping together to sleeping alone. My middle child came into bed with me in the middle of the night for about a year when she was in middle school (that was about the time her father and I got divorced). My oldest and youngest went through periods in high school when they had trouble falling asleep and would show up in my bedroom at midnight or so. They’d lie next to me for a few minutes then return to their beds.
At all times I went with the flow and allowed them to stay for as long as they needed to. I would draw the line when they’d complain about my snoring - then it was back to their own bed.
I was having the same problem with Isabella (also almost a year now). I bought a small mat and now she’s sleeping on the floor next to us. (we sleep on a mattress on the floor so we’re just about level) Every night she wakes up and I cuddle her a bit then she goes back to sleep, just like she did when she slept with us. This is great because it never worked that way with the crib.
As for the paci, I don’t know if it would harm, but I think the comfort is for mommy (or daddy, since you mention bottles), not a pacifier. Bella is the same way; paci would never do. She has this whole routine built up. Mouth on on breast, hand stroking the other breast, toes wiggling against my belly. We tried pacifiers combined with “lovies”. Never worked. I guess it’s just something they grow out of because I’ve noticed it’s becoming less common over the past week or two.
I’ll agree with this. If you can’t get any sleep with baby climbing in, put him back in his bed each time he does it. Eventually he’ll get the idea. Otherwise, why not let him snuggle? Paidhi Boy, who’s five (excuse me, five and three quarters. He’d correct me if he read this), routinely climbed in with us round about two or three every morning until he was almost five. He’s fine, so far, and pretty much keeps to his own bed. It was something he did on his own, not something we insisted he do. YMMV.
Do whatever gets you all the most and best sleep.
I don’t have any advice about the pacifier thing. Paidhi Girl never had one, and Paidhi Boy used his until he was a little over three and we slowly phased them out. (Only at home…then only at bedtime…then “if you lose this one, we’re not buying a new one”…it was all very calm and non-traumatic.) My gut reaction would be “don’t re-introduce it.” But I don’t really have any rational support for that.
This might be totally off base, but if maybe he is just playing with the nipple because he is not hungry not because he wants a paci. Are you still giving him night feedings? A one year old doesn’t need to have a bottle in the crib with him, so it is probably just comfort he wants. If it were me I would try to give it to him another way other than re-introducing a pacifier at this point, with a toy or favorite blanket. My son has a toy that hangs on his crib that plays music and white noise that he can turn on himself to soothe him back to sleep, I hear him turn it on a few times a night usually.
Is he teething? One-year olds get molars in that take a while to break through, my son is having issues with them right now too and will shove anything in his mouth because he wants something to chew.
They change so fast at this age, I am learning that in a few weeks the current all consuming issue will be replaced with a new one so my motto is wait it out, but I know it’s still hard while it is happening. Our son is now obsessed with hitting mommy and daddy and argh it is frustrating.
I think the main question is – what do you want your son to do? Do you like having him in bed with you, or would you rather sleep in his own bed? I’m assuming it’s the latter because otherwise presumably you’d be okay with your current situation. You may just need to bite the bullet and spend a few weeks breaking him of the habit of sleeping in bed with you. It’s exhausting but unfortunately there’s no magic wand.
Personally, our son slept in bed with us while nursing, and that was gradually eliminated at the same time that night-time feedings were. And once he was completely weaned (at around 13 months; the first feeding of the day, in bed with me for a half hour to an hour, was the last to go), we didn’t want him sleeping in bed with us at all. (For various reasons.) So we worked hard to make sure he stuck out the night in his crib, from a reasonable bedtime until it started getting light outside. Disruptions to the schedule, mainly in the form of teething, can be challenging but we stick with our routine and do not take him out of his room (and usually, not out of his crib), once it’s bedtime.
Of course, it’s relatively easy while he’s still in a crib. Won’t be too much longer before he’s in the toddler bed and can get out and walk to our room. SIGH
(Ours never used a pacificier, so I can’t offer you much advice there, but I’d be wary about introducing an addiction you’ll have to break in the not-to-distant future. I’d introduce another comfort object instead; ours has a blankie with chewable corners and a small soft doggie toy.)
Yes, yes, this is exactly what we did! We finally told him it was illegal for the store to sell binkies to mommies and daddies who didn’t have a child under 3. He fell for it.
At any rate, I’m reading along here and thinking I’m glad First Grade Caricci isn’t a baby anymore. Not that I want him to get any bigger! But he is more reasonable now - so it does get easier.