This is what I came in to say. I get lots of daily WOWSIES but there’s not a lot of coherent, intention-laden thought or detailed fantasies. Is it sexual? Hell yeah! Is it a “sexual thought”? Ummm… define your terms please?
I may be somewhat over the hill, but I’m still attracted to the lovely ladies. Constantly.
SWMBO sees me checking out a chickie and she just laughs. She says I remind her of an old hound dog on the front porch. The fire engine goes past with the lights flashing and the siren wailing, and I just raise my head and wag my tail. I know I’m supposed to get up and chase it, but it’s just too much effort these days. 
At 52, I think about sex maybe once or twice an hour-- more often if attractive women are around. I also have sexual dreams(not necessarily “wet dreams”) pretty regularly. From age 14 to age 30 or so, I thought about sex almost constantly. Severe pain(emotional or physical) reduces frequency of sexual thoughts for me.
How is the first a sexual thought?
I’m beginning to wonder if the idea that men think about sex a lot more than women boils down to a difference in accounting. If someone asked me how many sexual thoughts I’d had a day, I’d add up the number of times a day I thought about sex, not merely the times I saw someone attractive or noticed that a fellow had an appealing body part.
For the purpose of my survey, it’s a sexual thought if the thinker thinks it is/defines it as such.
For example, presumably a heterosexual man can look at a guy’s ass and think non-sexually along the lines of, “nice ass, I need to lay off the Big Macs and get to the gym, 'cause mine doesn’t look anything like that,” which would be qualitatively different from the “nice ass” thought he has when looking at his sister’s ass, his mother’s ass, or the ass of the female flight attendant that is in his face when she reaches to hand something to someone sitting across the aisle from him (particularly if it’s 1976 and it’s a Southwest Airlines flight when all the “hostesses” wore orange hot pants).
That’s all fair enough (well, apart from the bit about looking at my mom’s ass and thinking “nice ass”…), as long as we don’t do a bait and switch.
That is, define “sexual thought” as broadly as possible then declare that all men think about is sex sex sex.
The thing is, I think sex and all the associated stuff is much more a brain off activity for guys. If you see a guy who looks kinda vacant because he’s seen a woman with a great rack, it’s not (I don’t think) because he’s thinking about what he wants to do with her boobs. He’s not really thinking anything. He’s in the moment, mesmerized.
Later on he may take a private moment to “reflect” on what he saw earlier.
Only then will he bother to fantasize.
I concur with the other men in this thread. Only pain, depression, or really intense creativity will stop me from thinking about sex. I mean, I have sometimes been sexually attracted to women I don’t like. There was one woman I actively loathed and avoided if at all possible: she was the former boss of a friend, who wreaked havoc in the training department, fired my friend the trainer, and within a year had gone on to wreck other locations… but she was still hot. Male sexual attraction seems to be entirely separate from and unaffected by any other kind of like or dislike.
Well, aren’t you a patronizing little so and so.
No, it’s actually bullshit. Maybe that was the case for whichever woman told you this. It’s not a general truth. Also lulz at the idea of a man “revealing” this like it’s some arcane inner secret of womankind. People (yes even women!) have incredibly varied motivations for doing what they do, but if women were a hive mind, like you imply here, we wouldn’t need some dude to speak for us.
I would think a guy could take filial/familial pride in the fact that his mom is beautiful and takes care of herself and is in better shape than a lot of other moms.
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as long as we don’t do a bait and switch. That is, define “sexual thought” as broadly as possible then declare that all men think about is sex sex sex.
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I LIKE the fact that men think about sexsexsex. I’m all for it, and applaud it. It makes the world go round. (Ever hear of “lesbian bed death”?) I would worry (and wouldn’t like it) if a guy didn’t think about sex a lot.
This is the kind of anecdote I find really interesting. Thanks. 
Here’s the thing men don’t get: the Friend Zone.
A lot of women seem to feel sex is okay at the ends of the emotional spectrum. They’ll have casual sex with men they have no emotional connection with and they’ll make love to the man who’s their soul mate. But there’s this mysterious area in the middle where women don’t want to have sex because they like somebody.
Men don’t get that. We have no problems having sex with a female friend. Our desire for sex works in a direct linear relationship with our emotions: sex with somebody we have no feelings for is good, sex with somebody we like is better, and sex with somebody we love is the best.
I have yet to see a vagina (I think you mean vulva) with lipstick. I guess my sexual experience has been quite limited compared to some.
Unless I’m mistaken “lesbian bed death” is a joke amongst lesbians for something that sometimes happens in their relationships and not some horrible fact of most or all of them.
It’s sort of gross when straight people make the same joke. Just sayin’. And worse, you don’t seem like you are even joking.
Yeah, because men only engage in friends with benefits situations with other men. And in those rare occasions where it’s with a woman, she’s really just fooling herself. Right?
I think that IS definitely a difference between men and women. I think, for women, the Friend Zone means, by definition that there is no sexual attraction, although there may be love and affection (like for a family member).
Don’t men ever put attractive, non-family women in the Friend Zone?
I meant no offense and I definitely was **not **joking. I was under the impression that it was a real phenomenon, though by no means a common one. My understanding (if you can call it that) was that in the absence of a testosterone-fueled libido, sexual activity can drop off over the years. Please straighten me out.
When a thread of mine goes on this long, it’s sure to piss someone off, sooner or later. :smack:
Well, perhaps you should be concerned then.
Because I’m saying I don’t believe men thinking about sex 24/7 is an accurate portrayal. If I see a hot girl there’s not much conscious thought going on at all; if there’s anything it’s pretty much “wowzer!”.
And while at work I’m glad I can keep my mind free of sexual thoughts because otherwise I’d be concerned about getting a boner. If I see a hot girl at work I can think “wow, she’s hot” without it progressing to any fantasies.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t really enjoy sex or (sadly) wish I were getting more of it.
I didn’t say 24/7. I said “a lot.”
Curious now. Has someone in the past/present given you a hard time (as it were) on this subject?
No, nothing I can remember.
Obviously men have a lot of trouble understanding women’s sexuality; historically women have often been depicted as frigid simply because they are unwilling to have sex with any old joe at the drop of a hat.
But misconceptions can happen the other way too; people can believe that men are obsessed with sex simply because they are willing to have sex with any old jane at the drop of a hat.
Both people are making the same error: assuming men’s and women’s sexuality is on the same continuum but just at different “levels”. But they aren’t: they’re different.
disclaimer: I’m obviously generalizing when I talk about men/women’s sexuality
Agree. And anyway, the sexuality that is most salient is that of your partner or potential partner, right? Groupthink stops being very relevant when you’ve narrowed down the field. As in, “What’s the matter with you, Jane/John? Women/men are SUPPOSED to feel ______, and you don’t!” That is the (non-sexual) kiss of death. (No relation to lesbian bed death.) (That time I *was *making a humorous reference.)
I’m a male and it certainly describes me most of my life, if 24/7 essentially means continuously throughout the day although not every single minute of the day.
I’m easy-- “24/7” is also left up to the interpretation of the poster, especially when accompanied by such a clear explanation.
I’m a straight male, 71 years old; i think of sex maybe twice an hour and when i do it’s more of a memory of some specific woman in the distant past.