When growing up, one local company always talked about being ‘the sharpest pencil in town’.
That always puzzled me.
The don’t do many deals?
They are very good at fine print?
Both?
In my childhood there was a local furniture store whose commercial was a jingle. One of the lines was (paraphrased) “We have thousands of styles, to help make up your mind.” I’m all for having more choices when I shop, but wouldn’t more choices make making a decision all the more difficult?
A ocal cemetary advertises its services as providing “peace of mind”? What they heck is that about? Are they saying that once they plant you, you ain’t goin nowhere?
“Where’s your Nature Valley?”
None of your business!
The United States Navy “Accelerate Your Life”. Not a good war-time slogan.
An ‘Army of One’, isn’t an army, by definition.
McDonald’s had a slogan “I’m Asian”. Actually, they trademarked it, and bought up the website www.i-am-asian.com.
No you’re not. You’re McDonald’s.
The one that pisses me off the most is the on in the ads for the breast cancer walk, where some woman says,
I never got a say in whether I wanted to lose my mom.
So what if you DID get a say? Would you have still picked “yes?” Would you have had to think about it for a bit? 
And I’d just like to add on another note that it tickles me to no end that the guy who is the “Kay” in “Kay Jewelers,” the guy who is responsible for perpetuating the most expensive, most bogus, most ridiculously materialistic hetero-male tradition ever… was gay.
Barnardo’s (a charity for children) has a campaign of late with the slogan
“It’s only poverty, he/she will grow out of it. With your help.”
So, it’s only poverty, no need to worry about it since they’ll grow out of it anyway. I just don’t think it makes much sense at all.
This slogan is much more amusing if you have a very attractive Indian friend with a sense of humor. And not to be crude, but I dunno that “stay out” is the proper sentiment in this context. 
How about another jewelry store slogan. “He went to Jared!”
It makes me want to rip the faces off the bitches who say it .
Well, that makes me think he went to Jared from Subway, which makes me think of a homosexual liaison, which probably isn’t where the commercial was intending my mind to go. And then he bought her jewellery so she wouldn’t suspect anything?
My least favorite slogan from a few years back was the stain company that said “No one knows wood as good.” The bad grammar used to leap from the TV and poke me in the eye.
Please don’t go yammering at me about brown doo. For all you know, I could be trying to enjoy a meal, here.
I’d take it as a suggestion that the company was prepared to ‘sharpen its pencil’ and offer significant discounts.
Hah! I can get behind that. When I need to excuse myself to, ah, take care of business, as it were, I’ve started saying, “Excuse me, Brown needs to go deliver some packages.”
He bought jewelry from the Subway guy?
Another vote for “What can brown do for you?” I can’t believe they didn’t realize that every single person who heard that slogan was going to think about poop.
Well, it’s comforting to know that when you visit your loved one’s grave, you won’t see body parts protruding from the ground.
Probably they mean that if you fork over oodles of cash for a burial plan while you’re still living, you won’t put your next-of-kin in hock for a high-end interment, assuming they wouldn’t automatically go for cremation and a K-Mart urn.