These aren’t funny names per se, but three people I used to work with are named J.Cox, C.Peters, and W.Bliss. (first initials given to help protect the guilty)
Since the three of them frequently went on business trips together it was always said of them “Whereever you have Cox & Peters, you’re sure to have Bliss!”
New and Improved
Enright3
my mom is a nurse, and is constanstly coming home with weird names of those admitted. a few would be:
nicotine tobacco juice (no joke)
candice bar, who went by candy
and many the peter peter and john johnson
also, when she was younger she knew a family of five children with the names, larry, harry, mary, terry and kerry. :eek:
if wishes were fishes, we could walk on the ocean.
This one’s a local legend you can confirm as real for yourself by searching for it in the Atlanta area in your favorite online phone directory:
Phenus Head
I went to college with a guy named French Irish.
While working a summer job for an agency of the federal Department of Agriculture in college, the entire office was occupied for weeks in filling out a hellishly complex form for every farm unit in the county, including names and SSNs (with check digits we had to manually calculate!) for every person who shared ownership of the land or shared in the proceeds of the crops grown, along with the acreage in each crop and a variety of other details. It was mind-numbing work, calling for a high degree of attention and concentration. One of our co-workers, an otherwise pleasant and well-meaning young woman named Edie, was an inveterate chatterbox who kept up a running monologue throughout the workday, occasionally on work-related topics but more often on whatever was rattling about her cranial cavity at the time, such as which “season” each of the other people in the office was (this was the height of the Color Me Beautful era. The only way to get anything done was to tune her out as completely as you could manage.
One day, as Edie prattled on about nothing in particular, I dimly remember hearing her blurt out “Oh, look y’all, this woman’s first name is Myrtle, and she married someone named Turtle, so now she’s Myrtle Turtle.” I don’t recall that anyone commented or gave any indication of having heard.
About six weeks later, after the information on the forms had been processed and entitlement certificates based on them had been mailed out, another woman in the office came into the rear work area from the front counter to report that "Myrtle Turner is out front mad as a wet hen because her certificate says “Myrtle Turtle”. For some reason, we all simultaneously convulsed with laughter (except for the horrified Edie). We had to evacuate the office because we couldn’t look at each other without howling all over again, and our mirth was quite audible to Ms. Turner at the front counter. We dispersed throughout the offices of the other agencies in the same building, with the same result as in our office, since all the agencies shared a common break area and everyone was quite familiar with Edie. Took nearly an hour to restore some something like order. Wasn’t that funny, per se, but after months of drudgery and listening to Edie, it seemed hysterical.
“Ain’t no man can avoid being born average, but there ain’t no man got to be common.” –Satchel Paige
The co-founder of “George,” who is writing a book about John-John, is named Dick Blow.
My school doctor and nurse in high school were Dr. Hertz and Mrs. Paine.
I had an eye doctor in Baltimore named Dr. I. Glasser, and a dry cleaner named T. Hee (I patronized both of them simply because of their names).
And—drum roll—I once dated a guy named Pete Moss! He had NO sense of humor about his name, which is one of many reasons I broke off the relationship . . .
I went to high school with a Phat Toe.
There’s a NASCAR driver named Dick Trickle.
This isn’t a person, but still it reduced me to helpless hysteria when first I saw it: there’s a utilities company in Texas called “El Paso Gas.”
Dick Swett is a (former?) Congressman from Connecticut.
Marcy Karsy always made me laugh.
My sister claims to have known a Kitty Katz.
River Phoenix was a good one. People got used to it, but really, it’s an odd name.
minor correction, Boris B:
Dick Swett was a representative from New Hampshire a few years ago when I was in college up there. Among his publicity literature was a little business card with a picture of him and his family. He had several (maybe five?) kids, which prompted a friend of mine to remark, “Dick Swett, indeed!”
More New Hampshire names: Years ago, two well-known doctors in Concord, NH were Dr. Blood and Dr. Graves. And I once went to summer camp with a kid named Dicky Butz. To make matters worse, he was more than a little bit on the heavy side, so you can imagine the torment he must have endured.
A friend of mine collected his wife and her friend Margaret Hanger from work.
Nearing Margarets house Marge suddenly saw her husband and said ,
“Stop a minute will you ,there’s our Cliff over there”
My mate nearly crashed!
I was just in my husband’s office the other day looking at a schematic pinned on the wall. I don’t remember if it was the draftsman or the scientist whose name it was but I couldn’t believe someone with the name DICK GUMMER wouldn’t go by “Richard” lol.
“Mrs. Krabappel, are you trying to seduce me?”
Boris—My step-grandmother’s name was Kitty Katz! Did your sister know her? She died in the mid-1980s, lived outside Philadelphia.
My mom is good friends with a woman named Pat Patt.
And Pat is a real estate agent, so there are signs in front of houses all over town with her name on them. I always get a kick out of them.
“It says, I choo-choo-choose you. And it’s got a picture of a train.”
– Ralph Wiggum
A friend of mine went to school with a kid named Gilbert Sulivan. His middle name was Andy… not Andrew but Andy … “Gilbert Andy Sullivan.”
I had a supervisor who’s name was Joan. She married Mr. Jones, now she is Joan Jones.
My friend Velvet… (bad name to begin with, blame her hippy parents, I guess) was dating a guy who’s last name (born with it as was his father and his father’s father) Leather. but no they didnt marry, so she didnt end up being Velvet Leather.
th-th-thats all folks
A guy who went to the same high school as a friend of mine was named Adolf Hitler… and he had a sister at the same school named Anotha Hitler.
Get it? Another Hitler? Hahaha… ummm yeah… ::groan::
‘When I feel friendship for you, I am ashamed.’
There was a Iowa high school girls basketball player named Fonda Peters
Don’t know what her parents could have been thinking.
I went to middle school with a Jenna Teelia(I dunno if that’s how you spell it; I never saw her name, but it was called out over the announcements constantly–always changing around the accents on the last name). In high school, I ran track with a girl named Princess Knuckles, which is just an odd name.
“I was born in this town, I was raised in this town, and I’ll probably die in this town. Hell, I’ve already been hit by a car on this street, twice!”–if you recognize where this quote is from or who said it, please tell me.
hmmm There’s the legendary Irish gay couple, Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald…
My mother used to work with a woman names Linda Mae Kauz. The “oh, no, not again” joke was “Linda may cause what?”
I had a regualar customer when I sold stereo equipment named:
Winston Littledick
What a rub, heh heh.
There was a girl at my high school named
Hedda Midich
I knew a guy in college named
Thick Dick. I’m not sure about the spelling, he was Vietnamese.
My friend Tommy Wong’s dad is named
Long, and his brother’s name is Ho.
Long Wong and his brother Ho Wong. Hilarious!
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
And
“This site is more addictive than caramel-covered crack!”
Oh shit! I forgot!
There is a Orthodontist here in town named
Dr. Ken Hurt! He has bulletin boards that say “It’s a name, not an intention.”
“Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.”
And
“This site is more addictive than caramel-covered crack!”