In another GQ thread, twas asked what the world would have been like had there been no horses. And after nmerous bad joke and so forth, someone (mentioning no names, here) suggested, presumably as a joke:
TO which I replied:
You fool! You’ll never defeat my legions of Spider-riders, nor can your punty silverfish match my War Beetles in pure combat! And my Mosquito bombers will mock you!
So I ask you, dear reader, what would you be riding? We are ignoring odd physical limits, so we can have darn near anythig large enough to ride. Please, no jokes about the Mongol Ameoba riders.
I’d have a giant praying mantis, an’ I’d make it special armour for its front legs, with big blades on an’ stuff so it could use them like scythes… an’ a helmet with spikey bits so it could headbutt people, an’ a big studded abdomen cover thing like a stegosaurus, an’ I’d put glitter and christmas lights on it’s antennae, and tie little tinsel streamers to its 2 pairs (yes 2!) of wings (unless it interferred with flying of course…) an’ I would become Tir`- Dark Rider of Mantids, Destroyer of Lesser Insects (and other crappy riding things…) an’ all would love me an’ fear me an’ worship me, an’ we would take over the world!
If we can genetically engineer giant insects, we can do other genetic modifications, too. Like enlarging lizards, and giving them wings, and the ability to breathe fire, and teleportation, telepathy and time-travel…
(All you Anne McCaffrey fans can just call me S’teve…)
Well, since others have chosen dinosaurs and giant birds and insects, I’ll have to go with…
Giant Rats.
I can just imagine an alternate-universe Victorian London, passing by the rat-riding equivilant of an horseback “bobby,” who tips his cap and calls out an “Ev’nin Guv’ner” while flashing his crooked teeth.
Top THAT.
Ranchoth
(Failing that, Bears. Or some sort of enlarged tree-sloth, for roaming through the forest branches.)
There’s a Michael Moorcock book that mentions giant jaguars trained to harness. 'Course, you need the Red Amulet to control 'em, but nobody’s gonna put a parking ticket on your chariot with those babies harnessed to it.
