Strange things you've said to your children

This was inspired by Persephone’s thread on kid weirdness.

All us parents have said things to our kids that made perfect sense at the time, but are just bizarre things to say. In fact, my wife and I often catch ourselves and exclaim, “Ten years ago I wouldn’t have said that!” or “eighteen years ago I wouldn’t have said that!” (Our children are nine and seventeen, so do the math)

A modest sampling of things we’ve actually caught ourselves saying:

“Don’t draw on your cracker.”
“She can play with the dishwasher because she’s got oil on her head.”

And honorable mention from my sister-in-law:

“We don’t draw on ducks.”