This might be the MOST MPSIMS thing I’ve ever started on this board, but it’s not the MOST MPSIMS thing ever written here. 
I walked into my bedroom tonight after work and saw a stray Dorito on the floor. I think one of the cats that own me knocked it off of a plate that I was to lazy to bring to the kitchen last night before bed. This wasn’t a regular Dorito…it was a ‘Four Cheese’ Dorito…as opposed to my Favorite of all Time Dorito, the elusive Taco Dorito!(which are awesome with Sour Cream as a dip!)
Anyways, not having a trash can in my bedroom, I threw it in the toilet on my way to relieve my bladder…which seems to need to expell itself exactly 12 seconds after I walk in my front door every day after work. Never mind that I can be home anytime between 5:15 and 8:00 daily, somehow my psychic bladder knows when I’m home after work and wants to empty itself of its contents NOW!. It never misses a beat. I could set my watch by it but, I don’t own a watch…and as far as I know my bladder is blind and mute.
Thanks for following along so far…typing this is almost boring ME to tears.
Anyways, I threw the ‘Four Cheese’ Dorito in the toilet and immediatley starting playing ‘Kill the Intruder(otherwise known as)Toilet Doom 3D!’ The men who’ve lasted long enough through this will know exactly what I’m talking about. I couldn’t break the damn chip! Well, I started timing it…for no goddang reason. For all that are interested, it takes 5 minutes of a ‘Four Cheese Dorito’ floating in water to make an effective exploding target. 
-K