I was reading this article on Strom Thurmond’s health problems, and it mentioned that he’s 98 years old. I did some quick calculating, and realized that he’s been around for roughly 43.6% of the history of the USA! This really got me thinking.
Holy crap. I mean, regardless of this guy’s rightward political leanings, you gotta admit a man who’s old enough to have been around for the tail end of the Indian wars, who predates mass-produced cars, who personally knew Civil War veterans: this guy is walking fucking history. He is older than powered flight, for fuck’s sake. He probably wore papyrus diapers.
I could rant on how Strom shouldn’t hold office in his condition, but since he announced his pending retirement (see above link), it would be kicking a dead horse. Speaking of horses, do you realize that baby Strom’s first trip out of the house was probably on a horse and buggy?
No, rather than focus on how much of a gonorrheaic monkey felcher he is in his views, I’ll just list a few things I can think of that he is older than:
my great-grandfather was 105 when he passed away last year… he always took great pleasure in pointing out that he was older than George Burns.
He had seen it all… including 3 different centuries (yeah, yeah, technically 2001 was the new one, but were you gonna tell that to my great-grandfather?)
No, because the dse zeppelin was first flown in 1900, and other, smaller powered airships were flying in small numbers during the last half of the 1800s.
Just say he’s older than the airplane. Hell, any airplane.
Yeah, but Reagan and Gloria Stuart also predated and outlived the USSR.
Let’s see, he’s older than the 19th ammendment
He’s old enough to REMEMBER the Titanic when it happened.
He was around before RADIO
He was in politics during Prohibition
Or we could use fake military terms like Lighter Than Air Self-Propelled Utility Cargo Balloon. Keeping in mind that a zeppelin does have rigid framework on the inside to hold it’s skin in place…
Aw fuck it.