Strom is older than...

I was reading this article on Strom Thurmond’s health problems, and it mentioned that he’s 98 years old. I did some quick calculating, and realized that he’s been around for roughly 43.6% of the history of the USA! This really got me thinking.

Holy crap. I mean, regardless of this guy’s rightward political leanings, you gotta admit a man who’s old enough to have been around for the tail end of the Indian wars, who predates mass-produced cars, who personally knew Civil War veterans: this guy is walking fucking history. He is older than powered flight, for fuck’s sake. He probably wore papyrus diapers.

I could rant on how Strom shouldn’t hold office in his condition, but since he announced his pending retirement (see above link), it would be kicking a dead horse. Speaking of horses, do you realize that baby Strom’s first trip out of the house was probably on a horse and buggy?

No, rather than focus on how much of a gonorrheaic monkey felcher he is in his views, I’ll just list a few things I can think of that he is older than:

Adhesive Tape
Chocolate Chips
Band-Aids
Mechanical Pencils
Popsicles
Zippers
Teabags
Zambonis
Talkie Motion Pictures
Insulin
Penicillin
Silly Putty
Windsheild Wipers
Air Conditioning
Refrigerators
Electric Oven
Brassieres
Traffic Signals
Stainless Steel
Crossword Puzzles
Crayons

Additions welcome.

my great-grandfather was 105 when he passed away last year… he always took great pleasure in pointing out that he was older than George Burns.

He had seen it all… including 3 different centuries (yeah, yeah, technically 2001 was the new one, but were you gonna tell that to my great-grandfather?)

He was even around the last time the Cubs won the world series.

Old joke:
Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Cubs players have in common?

A: They each wear one glove for no apparent reason.

He’s older than twelve of the amendments to the Constitution of the United States of America.

He’s older than five of the states.

He’s older than the crust on my underpants.

He’s older than commercial airflight.

He both predated and outlived the USSR.

He’s older that human flight, period.

Strom = born in 1902

Wright Brother’s first heavier-than-air flight = December 17, 1903.

(ignoring balloons and such, of course)

LochNessHump’s tired argument.

Revtim: We can compromise, and say that he is older than powered flight, then.

No, because the dse zeppelin was first flown in 1900, and other, smaller powered airships were flying in small numbers during the last half of the 1800s.

Just say he’s older than the airplane. Hell, any airplane.

Is a Zeppelein considered powered flight? It’s airborne because of lighter-than-air gas, not because of its engines.

Or we could say that he’s older than heavier than air flight.

Or I could go get a life.

Yeah, but Reagan and Gloria Stuart also predated and outlived the USSR.

Let’s see, he’s older than the 19th ammendment
He’s old enough to REMEMBER the Titanic when it happened.
He was around before RADIO
He was in politics during Prohibition

It flies in the air and has engines.

Or we could use fake military terms like Lighter Than Air Self-Propelled Utility Cargo Balloon. Keeping in mind that a zeppelin does have rigid framework on the inside to hold it’s skin in place…
Aw fuck it.

He is old enough to remember 5 American wars.

I don’t think they had ball point pens back then.

Revtim said Strom was born in 1802. Wouldn’t he be 99?

I meant 1902. Really I did!

Only if his birthday is before October.

He was born December 5, 1902.

No, I’m no Strom groupie, I just found his biography on his web page:
http://www.senate.gov/~thurmond/pages/bio.htm

You kids wanna know how old Strom really is?

Way back in 1968, when I was in high school and was old enough to understand all the jokes when he got married to a 22-year-old, he was ancient

> Strom is older than…
. . . dirt.

He’s older than plastic.

He’s older than the assembly line.

He was in his late 20’s when sliced bread became commercially available.