Student Can't Come To Class - Having Gold Bladder Removed

Yes, that was the email I got.
My student let me know they would not be able to attend class as they were having their “gold bladder” removed.

Don’t suppose it was signed “Horshack’s Mother,” was it?

A recent lost pet flyer read “not nurtured” and I thought, well if you don’t nurture your pet maybe you shouldn’t have one.

What precious mettle. Glad to hear it wasn’t New Monia.

I wish my gallstones were worth something.

Like double what it is going to cost to get them out . . . .


That’s what happens when you drink too much Goldschlager, you have to get your gold bladder removed. On the plus side, your gold bladder removal pays for itself!äger

Why go to the doctor? Let’s just check the internet!


This thread is putting a big shitty grin on my face.

That’s Epstein’s Mother.

A few years ago I got a call at work “Hi this is Angie’s mom, she’s not feeling well and won’t be able-[RRRIIIINNGGGG goes the school bell in the background, followed by screaming kids]-to make it in today” I nicely said okay and hung up. Then I called her real mom to let her know that “I just got a call from Angie’s mom” and told her what happened. She didn’t sound too happy. This wasn’t the first time she had skipped work with a stupid excuse.

Moral of the story… Don’t call work and pretend to be your friends mom when the school bell is about to ring. Besides, you’re a lot less likely to get caught if you just say you can’t come in today and leave it at that.

What an elegant way to pay for surgery.

You have to be careful with those gold bladder operations – they can be real tricky if the surgeon is distracted by all the shiny.

Sounds like a slick, silver-tongued devil of a kid…

Next, they’ll be having their appendices removed. Or expurgated, anyhow.

At least he’s not getting a hard transplant.

Am I seeing this thread correctly, or do I need Cadillac surgery?

Hey, I am sure Gold Bladder surgery is better than Zachary’s Disease.

I’m guessing auto-correct is to blame for this communication, but what an awesome mistake! :smiley:

Back when I was in high school, one student wrote that the Prime Minister of Israel was Gold In My Ear.

Oh, you know those Indian names…Dances With Wolves, Sitting Bull, Gold in My Ear…

When I was in grade school, I thought San Diego was spelled “Sandy Eggo.” I got over it, though. :slight_smile:

I had kidney scones once…