Stuff that never happens to you.

[NinetyWt]

I’ve been married three times and have never had a stereotypical “bad mother-in-law”. All three of these ladies are/were stellar individuals whom I’ve learned a lot from.

[Sunspace]

@longPath

Or maybe I’d steal a kiss and we’d dqnce until dawn or until your husband came home.

(Bolding mine)

Well, that gives a whole new meaning to ‘soft serve’…

[Rala]

I’ve never been hit on. I sometimes see women on the boards complaining about guys flirting with them when they’re just trying to go about their day. Never once been a problem for me. Which I suppose is good, but still …

I’ve also never had a meal or movie disrupted by noisy kids.

[Cuckoorex]

I have apparently never had a clue. Go figure!

[sandra_nz]

I’m obese, yet I’ve never had any stranger make any rude comments to me.

[Wallenstein]

I’ve never seen anyone have a full-on stand-up shouting match in my workplace.

[corkboard]

@Algher

Graduate School Admissions Officer for 5 years with a private office and the real decision making power was in my penis. Not once did I have a potential student make me an offer.

FTFY

[Ellen_Cherry]

@corkboard

@Algher

Graduate School Admissions Officer for 5 years with a private office and the real decision making power was in my penis. Not once did I have a potential student make me an offer.

FTFY

corkboard, altering others’ posts, even as a joke, is not allowed. Please don’t do it again.

Ellen Cherry
MPSIMS Moderator

[Spice_Weasel]

@NinetyWt

I’ve been married three times and have never had a stereotypical “bad mother-in-law”. All three of these ladies are/were stellar individuals whom I’ve learned a lot from.

That reminds me. My mother was divorced four times (ages 1, 3, 7 and 23, respectively) and not one of those divorces was particularly devastating for me. I never understood the ‘‘divorce is soooo bad for children’’ thing.

Until my husband’s parents divorced. Jesus Christ, they dragged that shit out for 6 years. That’s when I realized divorce can make normal, rational people go absolutely fucking insane, and that really screws up the children. Incidentally, the experience has made me strongly dislike my mother-in-law.

[corkboard]

Okey dokey.

[Jophiel]

My wedding ring has never acted as an irresistible babe magnet. Not that I care since I already have a babe at home but for as many times as I’ve heard “Man, once those chicks see that ring they think it’s a challenge or something”, I think the batteries in mine must be low.

[The_Real_Regency_Elf]

I have never had a bonus or Christmas/Holiday gift from any employer. Just before I typed this, our corporate overlords announced that anyone who takes no leave time in August gets $100 cash. Hmmm, would that count as a bonus?

[Wallenstein]

@The_Real_Regency_Elf

I have never had a bonus or Christmas/Holiday gift from any employer. Just before I typed this, our corporate overlords announced that anyone who takes no leave time in August gets $100 cash. Hmmm, would that count as a bonus?

I guess it does, as presumably you get to keep your holiday entitlement to use later?

[Acantha]

@Shagnasty

My life is one endless parade of extremely improbably events and I have never figured out why. If you can name it, it probably really happened to me in some version. I even won the equivalent of a large lottery and once found myself at school in my underwear.

I never had anyone cheat on me though and I never have either.

Me too, though I have never been trapped outside in my underwear or won a large sum in the lotto. I have been cheated on and I have had more bizarre one in a million experiences than most people I know.

I once moved 1500 miles to get away from a stalker freak ex, and my new next door neighbor turned out to be a stalker freak murderer. What are the effing odds?

[optimisticcynic]

I’ve never had a women walk up to me and off head, although I have had a women just go down on me without warning. A little bit stranger. Oh, and a guy too, twice, different guys.

[Silver_Fire]

@Acantha

I have had more bizarre one in a million experiences than most people I know.

Hey, that’s a good thread idea. In a “I must be the only person here who…” sort of way.

[Acantha]

@Silver_Fire

@Acantha

I have had more bizarre one in a million experiences than most people I know.

Hey, that’s a good thread idea. In a “I must be the only person here who…” sort of way.

Heh. As in ‘who has the most near misses?’ or ‘who has * fuck with me* tattooed on their forehead?’

[Tethered_Kite]

I have never won a door prize.

I have never met a cat I didn’t like.

I have never shared blows with another human although I have had a knife held to my throat and been threatened with death on several occasions.

I have never been much bothered by ambiguity.

[Cerowyn]

@olivesmarch4th

My mother was divorced four times (ages 1, 3, 7 and 23, respectively)

Now that’s what I call an early bloomer.

[Silver_Fire]

@Jophiel

My wedding ring has never acted as an irresistible babe magnet.

Oh, hey. How YOU doin’?

@Acantha

As in ‘who has the most near misses?’ or ‘who has * fuck with me* tattooed on their forehead?’

Tell me about it.

OMG, do you really have “fuck with me” tattooed on your forehead?