Earlier this week I go out and buy a couch to replace my old futon. I shop some and find a great couch at a good price. It finally get delivered yesterday morning while I am at work. When I get home and finally get a chance to enjoy it and start making a “butt groove” the wood frame breaks. I have owned this couch for 12 hours or so and sat on it for maybe 45 minutes. I called the store I bought it from and they tell me they will exchange it, I just have to wait 48 hours for a supervisor to call me and then reschedule a delivery time with him. The only time I can have someone at my apartment to meet their delivery window is saturday or sunday, which brings me to my rant.
You goddamn bunch of donkey fellatting whoresons. May the fleas of a thousand syphilitic camels infest your armpits while their host beasts die on your porch. I hope a porcupine with diarrhea takes residence in your bed. In a just world each time you sat on a toilet to take a crap a horde of angry piranha would assault your genitalia. What the hell do you mean it will take 2 days to hear from someone you fish pimp. Why the hell can’t you set the delivery up for me? I have to either go without something to sit on in my living room for a week or take a day off work. Why the hell couldn’t you enter it as something to be delivered today you steaming pile of capybara vomit.
Thanks for letting me vent,
John
PS: I know this is not the fault of the poor phone operator who had to take this call, it is the fault of the policy makers above him and I do intend to complain about this policy, I just have to wait until monday when the big boss people are in.
And may those fleas not be fleas at all, but screw worms and may they eat their way down into this sick prick’s scrotum and leave not a single bite for the pirhanas.
Kind of reminds me of the time last year that I bought a new computer and when I got it home the thing was broken right out of the box. I took it back and exchanged it. The 2nd one wouldn’t even boot up. I had paid cash for it. Not a check, cash. The stupid clerk couldn’t give me my cash back until about a week later because they had to “save up cash”. WTF? The store manager was on vacation. No assistant manager, I guess. Nobody to make a decision. Makes me wonder if they can go to the shitter if somebody isn’t there to hold their hand.
Not excusing what happened, but it could be that only the manager could go to the bank, and didn’t leave anyone with access to get more money.
It happens…trust me.
OK, well, here’s another one. Last week I tried to buy a computer desk from a certain home furnishing store which shall remain nameless (why give them free publicity?). After standing in the sales queue for twenty minutes I got to the till only to be told this:
“It’s very heavy. Do you have someone to help you carry it?”
“No, I want to have it delivered.”
“We can’t deliver it.”
“Why not? Your catalogue says you offer free delivery.”
“That’s only for certain heavy items.”
“But you just told me this is too heavy to carry.”
No luck.
I should add that this shop is in a mall which is situated on a pedestrian-only street, so it’s not like I could park a car or hail a taxi in front of it.
And according to someone I work with, this same shop will not deliver items they don’t consider heavy enough even if they’re ordered along with an item they do consider heavy enough. So even if they’re going to drive the heavier item to your house anyway, they won’t throw the lighter item in the van with it.
That if cblackhand has to take a day off, the amount of lost wages has to be applied to the cast of the item(s). Suddenly, it’s not so hot a deal. Same thing if he’s sitting on the floor for a few days. Time, even (especally) time off is certainly worth something.
Me, I think I’d call it off and find someone who likes repeat business.