managed to slice a small chunk out of my right ring finger by grabbing a knife that i for got was sharp as it looks like a butter knife but its actually a pairing knife and is extremely sharp the dumb part is i have done this 3 other times this time it fell in the bottom of the dish washer and instead of grabbing it by the handle i picked it up by the sharp part
Hurt my eyes reading a post with no capitalization or punctuation.
Sorry. I’m a Dick. 
Serious Answer: Cut the fuck out of my finger cleaning the lint trap in my dryer.
@Dbug: Punctuation is your friend. And ours, as well. Other than that, welcome to the Dope.
Incredible, stupid story.
I was at a cabin in a rural area with several friends, where we had no electricity. We all wanted to watch the match in the evening, so we spoke to people at a nearby cabin to allow us to watch the match with them and they said yes. My friends went there right after dinner (which would be lunch for most Americans, I guess), but I decided to went to take a nap first so that I could watch the match in perfect shape. The problem was that it was terribly dark when I woke up. It was a moonless, starless night and I hated the trip through the woods. I couldn’t see my own hands or feet, but I had to rush because the match was supposed to start in minutes.
There was a road passing through the woods. All I had to do was cross the road and climb the hill to our neighbors’ cabin. I could see the lights of the cabin in the dark, but suddenly I fell into a bottomless pit. It felt as though the underground sucked into the earth. I plunged really deep and sprained by leg really painfully.
I had fallen into a ditch that they had dug during the day for I don’t know what work about which I had no idea.
Luckily I had my phone with me and I could call for help.
When I was about 12 or so, I was sitting in my bedroom, bored, and playing with my Swiss Army Knife. I had the primary blade of the knife unfolded, and stuck the tip of the blade into the wall of my bedroom, for no particular reason. Then, with my right hand wrapped around the handle, I pushed on the knife. The angle must have been just right, because the blade suddenly folded shut, and sliced deeply into my index finger, just above the middle knuckle. Bled like mad, took a long time to heal, and I still have the scar.
But, my sister-in-law wins the family prize for stupid injuries. When my future wife and I were dating, she lived in an apartment with her sister. The two of them were having me (as well as their mom and stepfather) over on Christmas Eve; as they were getting the apartment ready, my sister-in-law was fluffing the pillows on the sofa. She had a pillow in her left hand, and was slapping at it with her right hand to fluff it. She missed the pillow, slapped at her own hand, and broke her own index finger. She spent Christmas Eve in the emergency room, instead.
I’m not a violent person or anything, but I enjoyed playing with knives too when I was young.
I am amazed that I never hurt myself in the process.
There have been so many. Yep. I’m accident prone.
When I was a wee child I fell off the curb(literally the curb, 4in. high)walking beside my Daddy. Chipped 2 teeth and needed stitches in my chin. I have a really cute scar there now. The kicker was when we returned home and my sibs were admiring my stitches, for some reason me and my brother started jumping on the bed and I fell off the bed and broke a collar bone. Back to the ER.
Daddy always said they were nearly ready to arrest him that day.
He put me in ballet class soon after that.
Didn’t work. I’m still a klutz.
I know I have a more recent one that I can’t think of at the moment, but my go to dumb injury story is when I was trying to purge some liquid propane from a fuel line and blew it all over my hand. I honestly thought I was going to end up in the hospital. It was probably at least 10 minutes before I could feel my hand again and a few hours before it felt normal.
I did about the same thing at about the same age.
Most recent dumb injury was dumbbell flyes with too little warm-up and too much weight after too long of a layoff. Pulled something in my shoulder that’s really my first long-term nagging injury. It’s minor (now), but it was utterly stupid = predictable & for zero benefit. I just hope it stays minor; I’d like to get another 40 trouble-free years out of that shoulder.
Over the decades there have been innumerable little cuts, and a lot of close calls with dead or crippled, but so far I’ve avoided anything real consequential. Years ago we had a thread about close calls that could easily have been fatal or crippling. It was sobering how many of us have had multiple such events. And how many of our friends haven’t been as lucky as we were/are.
Do any of you remember the old cartoons where someone would step on a rake or a shovel and BAM! it would spring up and whack them in the middle of the face?
Well, I was about six years old and I didn’t think that would really happen. So I laid a heavy-duty rake on the ground and gingerly stepped on the rake end and…
WHAP! Damn near broke my nose and I had a black eye!
Once I grabbed an iron by the business end to move it, forgetting I had just been using it. Blisteringly stupid.
Washing a cocktail glass with a sponge the glass broke and stuck a shard in the sponge no injury. Lucky! Days later repeated the deed but scratched the hell out of my hand. Superficial cuts but owie. Tripped on a step with my arms full, tipped over like timber and three weeks and several X-rays later my lower leg still looks like it went through the mangler. I fear I’ll never get full use of my knee back.
Doing electronics in short pants. Drop of molten solder on my leg. Lovely little circular scar. Funniest thing is it didn’t hurt at all.
We lived in an apartment in Tacoma WA. The refrigerator had two, heavy-duty ice trays.
It was a HOT day in Tacoma, a rarity. Mr VOW (Sgt VOW at the time, stationed at Ft Lewis) was at work, and I decided I really needed a cold drink.
I took an ice tray from the freezer, and held it on the edge of the sink. I went to twist it, to loosen the cubes, and something went BOING in the side of my neck.
OMG! I felt like someone stuck a red hot butcher knife in me! As soon as Sgt VOW got home for work, we went straight to the ER at Madigan Army Hospital.
I had to tell my stupid story at least three times, the last time to the doctor who examined me.
He dickered about deciding on what muscle relaxant to give me, and finally settled on Valium.
And then he said the best home treatment would be to put ICE on my neck.
“But let your husband get it for you!”
~VOW
There’s a reason my nickname is Grace:
Sprained ankle wearing clogs on ice.
Sprained ankle walking down stairs
Sprained ankle walking up stairs
Yard Jart through my foot.
Broken toe due to dropping a jar of mayo
Stabbed myself in the palm of my hand with scissors
Accidentally cut the webbing between my thumb and forefinger with scissors
Have a scar across my right forefinger from a pencil
Face planted in a pool, deeply scratching the skin on my chin and philtrum
Those are off the top of my head. Oh, and I worked in a cutlery shop for a few years, so you can figure that out yourself.
I have a scar on my forehead, because I learned the hard way to hold your clarinet horizontally, not vertically, when pulling the segments apart to put it away.
DH was once running in formation with his reserve unit, and the sergeant decided to have everyone run backwards. It’s the kind of stupid thing they like to make you do in the military, because they can. Of course, DH was the one person in the whole unit who tripped over his own feet, and fell, and of course, because he is who he is, he broke his wrist when he did so.
Another time, he wanted to prop up part of the futon with a cement block, and had been meaning to do this for weeks. Well, he’s supposed to go on a leadership training with his unit, and I’m pregnant, so he decides he MUST do this propping before he leaves.
He does it barefoot, I don’t know why, and drops the block on his foot, and needs stitches. He ends up not going to leadership school (it only comes around every so often, and the next time it came around, we had a newborn). It was probably for the best.
That reminds me of one from grade school. We had those desks where the top lifted and you’d keep your stuff inside. Well, in the middle of class I opened mine to get something and everything went black for a split second…and my face hurt…like, really, really hurt.
I had forgotten that for the past week or so we had been booby trapping our desks. The trap I had was particularly strong. A test run launched a very heavy, metal mechanical pencil clear across the room. When I opened my desk it hit me right in the face. I’m lucky I didn’t get hit in the eyes.
^^^Yikes!