My life is chaos. I now live with my parents, with all my items in boxes. I’ve been trying to handle the logistics and emotions from this breakup, moving out, commuting over an hour to work, and a night class. I am stressed, and tired, and generally feeling I got hosed big time from this relationship. Right now I feel alone and weird living at home. The positive side is that I’ve been e-mailing what seems to be a nice lady on E-Harmony. I only have 2 more things to move out of the old place: My bed and my spare tires. And lastly I have been eating extremely well, and have lost almost 9 pounds in this last month.
Today the most difficult thing has been talking to all my friends who all have fiances, kids, familys, homes, puppies…etc. I’m very happy for them, but I’m mad and sad as I feel that future has temporarily been taken away from me. It has been one month since the breakup. I’m debating whether staying at home to save money is a good idea. I want my independence again.
Anyways I need to go to bed soon. I’ve been studying for the last 3 hours, and I will get up at 5 AM to study some more. Last weekend was spent moving, this weekend I can relax a bit…thank goodness.
<hugs> Busy is good; staying with your folks is gonna feel weird, yes, but will also spur you to get your life back, and that will feel good, too. In the meantime, you’re working on YOUR life, the one that nobody can take from you, and it may not feel like much right now, but it’ll be good for you. Good luck in the future, and try not to let the past colour the future too much.
Sounds like you’re in the same place as one my sons; living at home while getting your lives back together after a break-up.
He’s had three major relationships in his life and each time lost more of what little he had. House, car, furniture, sports equipment…and things that mean a whole lot more than that. But, after some time, not his resiliency. You say you’re studying. That’s what he’s doing, at weird hours here and there. Going to school full-time while working an almost full-time job.
You all are doing what’s best for you right now…not somebody else. And an education that will lead to better employment/fullfillment can’t be taken away from you. “Home” is a good jumping-off place and you’ll both be on your own again in good time.
My only words of advice: next relationship? run her by the family and listen to their input. And don’t take all your stuff over there.
Seems to me what you need to do is decide what it’s all worth to you. Does the security of living with your folks and being able to save money outweigh whatever stressors it may be causing you? Would independence add too many stressors? Does short-term stress in either situation outweigh the immediate and long-term benefits?
In the end, it comes down to deciding what’s important to you and what your goals are. And you might think about backing off from any relationships till you decide where you want your life to go - like Forrest Gump said, “One less thing.”
At least, for now, you’re in a reasonable situation - it’s not like you’re fighting for a refrigerator box in a culvert by the highway. Take advantage and take a breather and make the best choices you can. Good luck!
It’s tough. Sometimes I feel my life has been one “long term” plan with me never stopping to just enjoy what is around me. I guess I still have some confusion about things post break-up.
*Do not *start another relationship until you are okay with yourself. This may require therapy. You will be doing your dates a massive disservice because you’re still actively in rebound-mode.
