So I was in the shower last night when I heard a terrible, awful thumping that could only mean my washer was having a fit and going off-track, so I threw a towel over myself and dashed across my carpeted livingroom to get to the kitchen/laundry room.
Foolishly I assumed that the carpet would dry my feet sufficiently to prevent me from slipping on the linoleum kitchen floor.
Thus I did an old-school slapstick-style banana-peel slip. Where your feet fly out from under you and briefly go higher than your head, before you smack down to earth with a painful triple-gravity THUD that knocks all the wind out of you.
I hit the floor so hard, actually, that my washer stopped thumping the instant I landed. (That was only funny later.)
After whimpering and wobbling around for a bit and popping some Advil, I assumed hey…not so bad…doesn’t seem to be that big a deal.
I forgot the ol’ “you won’t know how bad you screwed yourself til the next day” rule about crap like this.
The whole right side of my body–which is what I landed on–feels like somebody pounded me with a club. My back, my ass, my right arm, even the right side of my neck are all horribly sore and tender and achy…and my right elbow is turning pretty colors and has a nice couple of lovely bumps emerging…
I’m 31 years old. I don’t remember stupid shit like this hurting this much the last time it happened…a decade or so ago. I’m sure it only gets worse. This sucks ass!
So, please make me feel a little better by sharing your own recent Stupid Preventable Injuries! I’m gonna go pop some more Advil…
I have a very small business manufacturing/selling motorcycle tire changing equipment in my garage and basement. The manufacturing includes everything from welding and drilling to sandblasting and powdercoating and final assembly. One day in 2005 when I was getting started, I hung a pair of stanchions from the ceiling of my garage, with platform/hooks on the end, like this.
The idea was that I would hang a crossbar in the cradle formed by the two stanchions, and three tire-changing levers could hang from that cross bar; spray on the powdercoat, then grab the crossbar w/tire levers dangling and hang it in the oven for curing. Great idea, huh?
Huh. The ends of those stanchions are at forehead level. (you can see this coming, can’t you?) I remember thinking I should put some padding on them, or at least round the ends so as to minimize injury in the event of head impact. Needless to say, I didn’t do either.
That night, not once, but F’ING TWICE, I hit my F’ING head on those F’ING stanchions. TWICE!!! Each F’ING time, they literally removed A F’ING PIECE of my F’ING scalp. Here’s one of ‘em, along with my short stupid F’IN’ hair.(do not click on link if you’re squeamish…)
And here’s my stupid F’IN head afterwards.(do not click on link if you’re squeamish…)
When my brother and I were young our dad called us “goddam retards” from time to time. He might have been onto something.
Didn’t we just have one of these? :dubious: Anyways, my stupid preventable injury had to do with head trauma as well, my favorite. The (very steep) stairway that goes to the upstairs has an access door that goes into the attic crawlspace. In order to access that door I have a gangplank that I put down that goes over the stairs and balances on the window sill. The stairwell’s kinda hard to describe, so here’s a picture. The platform is made out of plywood and 2x4s, very very solid. The first time I put it up, I went back downstairs… and forgot all about it. I went back upstairs and SLAMMED my head into the plywood. :smack: I blacked out for a second but didn’t fall over, which would have been bad. Much profanity and goose egg swelling ensued.
Later in the same day, I did it again. Hitting the exact same spot on my head! :smack: FFFFFFFUUUUUUU… So I made a sign to put on the stairs that says “Look Up” so I wouldn’t forget it’s there. I also beat the hell out of the thing with a hammer. That didn’t accomplish anything, but I felt better.
