First order of business, salt. Lots of it. Zombies hate salt. I carry a packet of it in my wallet, just in case, no foolin’. When all the other survivors are killing each other over ammo and weed whackers, you can be over in the “Spices” aisle of the grocery store, stocking up for the long haul. Little helpful hint from your old Uncle Terrifel.
What I would do…
I’d get a sniper rifle and go onto a building, then I’d start picking off Zombies.
Also, I’d make sure none could get me.
I’d ball up in a fetal position, rock back and forth, whimpering “Mary Had A Little Lamb,” and cry.
(At least I’m honest)
Get a Zombie Alert. You should be fine.
I had all sorts of visions of Simpsonesque responses to this thread before reading it. Now for some reason, the hunting scene in Gosford Park comes to mind - perhaps a lingering afterspark from the scene at the end of Night of the Living Dead, where I and a bunch of others get our guns out and go on a big Zombie Safari.
Bart: Dad, you shot zombie Flanders!
Homer: Flanders was a zombie???
Everyone here is being a bit vague on their weapon selection, although a few have been close. After watching Resident Evil for the Nth time, I realized what the ultimate zombie weapon is: A shotgun (sawed off, pistol grip, with an elaborate sling)…here’s where it gets good…with a bayonet! How unstoppable would that be? You’ve got the best weapong for dealing with close quarters or crowds (both of which zombies seem to prefer), and if you run out of ammo, you’ve got the sword aspect covered.
Construction machinery.
To stomp them en mass.
Open the doors to the dog pound.
A pack of mutts turns scavenger–fast!
Consider houseboats. I don’t think zombies can swim.
Ender_Will, I have to disagree. I think a bayonet would be worse than useless against a zombie. You see, the accepted method of zombie-slaying is destroying the brain. Just stabbing the corpse is going to fail and put you too close to the troublesome undead. Unless you’re incredibly accurate and can stab them in the eye.
A shotgun loaded with buckshot would be brill for a ranged weapon, should take their heads apart like ripe melons. A good, heavy blade like a machete or broadsword would be excellent for severing heads in melee.
But everyone is missing the best weapon…
Fire
A flamethrower for preference, or failing that a torch and molatov cockatials. A nice burning, twitching death…
And yes, this is my 500th post. 
No shit. I’d probably suffer a nervous break down. Hopefully it’ll be while I’m in a safe, protected place, but I’m not counting on it. I’ll be one of the people running around screaming and crying and babbling because everything I ever believed about the world just fell down around my ears and tried to suck my brains out.
I have complete faith that if ever I saw even one zombie staggerring any-which-way, I would instantly keel over and DIE of fear. No foolin. I can’t imagine it any other way.
I prefer to use legions of Star-Spawn and Deep Ones. Sure, they smell a little fishy, but that is a lot better than decaying corpses. And they tend to be quite a bit brighter than zombies as well.
I used to think about this a lot when I lived in the dorms at UC Santa Cruz (I watch horror movies a lot!!!). I thought that my dorm would have been the perfect place. I lived on the fifth floor (the top) of the building and the only ways up were two concrete stairwells with heavy doors. We had everything we needed (heat, water, food). We could lock the building up floor by floor, saving the top, with balconies and roof access to shoot them, for the humans. I guess it was because the people who hid out downstairs in Night of the Living Dead died whereas the one guy upstairs didn’t get taken by the zombies. Umm, yeah, I guess I watched Night of the Living Dead way too much…
There’s a Stephen King short story in Nightmares and Dreamscapes that deals with this scenario.
He seems to think being on a small Maine island would be a good plan. Only one cemetary, and many of the graves are empty, due to fishermen drowning
I’d get a few shotguns, a sword, and then I’d call Bruce Campbell.
Well, this all really depends on what KIND of zombie’s we’re dealing with…
Romero’s zombies didn’t go for brains, specifically, although they did crave human flesh. The cause of the Romero zombies’ ressurection is murky, at best. Unlike the zombies from Return of the Living Dead, who are only resurrected because of exposure to the chemical called 2-4-5 Trioxin.
Romero’s zombies, moreover, have the ability to “infect” living humans with zombieism via biting. Trioxin zombies, however, normally lack this trait.
One of the weaknesses of Romero zombies, however, is their notorious simple-mindedness. Even the famous specimen www.monstersinmotion.com/contemp/dayofdeadbub.html+%22Day+of+the+Dead%22+bub&hl=en&ie=UTF-8]“Bub”, was only able to achieve limited cognitive skills after intensive training. Compare that to “Tar Man” of RotLD, however, who was the first zombie to display spontaneous tool use, not to mention speech. These are traits found in all Trioxin zombies.
Plus, Romero zombies, as others have noted, can be killed by destroying their brains. (Oh, don’t look so smug. Like YOU’D be doing a lot of walking around if someone shotgunned YOUR brain) Trioxin zombies, on the other hand do NOT share this vulnerability. In fact, it seems that the bodies of Trioxin zombies retain their renanimation down to the individual cells…as one witness described it, “If you cut them into pieces, the pieces will get up and go after you!”
But anyway, back to what I would do…I think I’d just grab some guns and supplies, hightail it up to the Sierras, find a nice isolated Cabin somewhere to hole up in for, oh, a decade or so, and catch up on my reading.
Or, failing that…if there’s a possibility that the zombies can be trained, tamed, or even reasoned with, I might take a shot at doing that. So that while the rest of you are running or cowering, I’d become the new KING of a vast ZOMBIE EMPIRE!
No, maybe not, that sounds a little conceited…how about the PREMIER of a vast ZOMBIE COMMONWEALTH! A-HA-HA-HA!
And I could use the abandoned Lincoln Memorial as a throne room, just like on the cartoons of my halcyon youth.
But, on the other hand, I just hope my undead subjects wouldn’t clamor for me to choose a Zombie Queen, or even Zombie Concubines. I mean, it would be bad enough with me being borderline asexual…shudder
But hey, I’m no bigot. Maybe I’d be able to find a nice nerd Zombie Girl, settle down, have 2.5 little werewolves…you know, the “Transylvanian Dream.”
Thank Og for this thread. I like to think of my self as a highly educated, intelligent young man with a good head on his shoulders. But for some reason I have this irrational fear of zombie infestations and I play out scenarios in head of what I would do if such a thing were to come to pass. Glad to see I’m not the only one.
As for my weapon of choice? I guess a nice sawed off would do. I like the flame thrower idea but I think that it would be to heavy for a hasty retreat and there is to much that can go wrong with all that combustible fuel strapped to your back. One stray bullet and you’re done for.
Do you think an Elder Sign works against Zombie? If so, I will be craving one out from styrofoam (light, potable, cheap and virtually little effect!)
This is a great idea!
Although I suspect I won’t like brains… I don’t suppose I could stumble about screaming “Hot WINGS!” ?
Play all of my Misfits CDs really loud and join the fun!
quote:
Originally posted by Manduck
I would stumble around in a daze, looking for brains to eat. Might as well join the winning team, boys.
BRAINSSS!
Then you wouldn’t be a Zombie, you’d be a Frat Rat/Sorority Fluff.
Especially if Rum & Coke is involved.