The story that immediately comes to mind:
In my wife’s small hometown in the heart of the Midwest, I went on a quick grocery store run for her mom. On the way out, my sister-in-law said “oh, can you pick up some whole milk for (her then-1-year-old son) Justin?”. “Sure”, I said. Even though I had never used the phrase “whole milk” (ignorant suburban spawn that I am), I assumed it meant what I thought of as “Vitamin D” milk - the stuff with the full fat content - and I figured I would ask someone at the store.
Sure enough, there was an older fellow loading new cartons onto the shelves at the store when I got there. “Excuse me” I asked, after checking cartons of Vitamin D milk, but not seeing the word “whole” on them, “but is this Vitamin D milk whole milk?”.
“Yep” he replied. Satisfied, I grabbed a carton and proceeded to walk away. Unfortunately, my mentor continued to dispense counsel - he said:
“It’s ‘ho’ milk because it’s ‘homogized’!”
I paused, realizing that any coaching he had given me was now out the window, “uh - excuse me?”
He looked at me with a somewhat exasperated look, then patiently picked up a carton of Vitamin D milk. Pointing to the work “homogenized” on the carton, he said "It’s ‘ho’ milk because it’s ‘homogized’, then - I kid you not - gesturing to each syllable of the word, he pointed three times and said slowly ‘Ho-Mo-Gized’!
I was stuck - I wanted to get the right milk for my nephew, but didn’t want to offend this guy. I desperately looked at the cartons, trying not to guffaw and trying to find some reference to the word “whole”. Since I hadn’t left, the man said indignantly “boy, what do you need?!” Shame-facedly, I grabbed the carton again and made off with it, trying not to burst out laughing. At the check out, I quickly asked the checker “uh, is Vitamin D milk ‘whole’ milk?” “Sure!” “Cool.”
I paid for my food and got the heck out of there.
