http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=209087]Here is your link.
Mmmm, let me try that again.
Link.
I just have to say, this retort struck me as particularly hilarious!
(in a near keyboard killing way)
So was this guy rendered Jackassless?
I would question the terminology about this, but I don’t want to get anal about it. 
Well, the ass is gone. It’s the jack part what’s the problem, and I beleive that his is still intact.
I think he should run for Governor of California.
“Elect me! I promise to serve only one term! No, it’s not for any reasons of political philosophy. I just can’t sit in one place for very long.”
Actually, it’s not. At least, I believe he is no longer capable of “jacking”.
But it shouldn’t. It makes as little (much) sense as saying: Slow the car up.
[Cheesy rock ballad singer in Bud Light commercial]
Mr. Firecracker up-the-ass guy
[/Cheesy rock ballad singer in Bud Light commercial]
Wouldn’t be prudent.
At any juncture.
Even if it wasn’t sideways.
But you´ve got to admit that going down in flames is glamorous… well it used to be anyway… 
I see nothing on the package about lighting a whole string and placing it on my eyes.
By the way, what kind of “firecracker” causes a fractured pelvis?
Not enough milk?
Hand grenade?
Dynamite?
“Pipe” bomb? [sub]sorry, Mr. Ashcroft. Just a little joke about explosives up the ass.[/sub]
The kind you put up your ass (and then sit on after you fall down)
Nice retort, county. A bottle rocket might skin my finger like a banana, but it would be hard-pressed to break a Triscuit, let alone one of the strongest bones in my body. My mother fell off an exceptionally tall Quarter and cracked her pelvis, just FYI.
Was this some giant experimental new state quarter, or am I hearing a loud whooshing noise in my general vicinity?
Well, I don’t care if this is the pit - I ain’t gonna start talking about your momma.
I don’t think you understand the nature of explosives. Just because a firecracker makes an amusing little pop in open air, doesn’t mean it lacks force, particularly in a confined space.
Just a few grains of powder is enough to propel a small a caliber bullet, so I hope we can agree that the stuff is potentially dangerous.